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Readers Respond: Cheating Husband, Cheating Boyfriend - What Did You Do About It?

Responses: 287

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When my husband slept w/my best friend

It's still fresh in my mind that my best friend slept and almost took my husband away...that ended up ruining my married life and turned out that my husband goes with her. At the start, i accepted everything and believed things would fall into the right place, but as time goes by, pain is killing me. I don't need to pursue the agony, so I decided to move on because the relationship won't work out if only one party is willing to do that...it takes two to tango. Fortunately, I'm glad that I decided to moved on because at the end of the day, I found someone who will love me for real and won't ever cheat on me...and I am happy now that God opened the window when all doors were closed...
—Guest sophie

Should've listened to my friends

I was with this guy for almost a year, and had suspected him of cheating. I would ask him about it and he would just say that he loves me, or he would get mad that I didn't trust him, and one time he used the "well if you think that then maybe we shouldn't be together" card. Throughout our relationship we broke up a lot. Whenever we'd break up, he would date another girl, but we would still talk and he would say he still loved me and wished he was with me. All of my friends always told me not to stay with him, but I did. Then I found out he had been cheating since day one, with at least 11 different girls. He'd only physically cheated on me once, and that girl said I deserved it. Now I feel so stupid for trusting him.
—Guest LiarsLieLoversLove

I'm in love with a cheater.

I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years. He cheats. I get mad. He leaves. I cry. He says he loves me. I believe him. He cheats again. I get mad again. He leaves again. I cry again. He says he loves me, again. I believe him, again. So, he cheats some more. Then I don't say anything. I wonder what the whole big fuss is about so, I decide to try it. It is not a big deal. Sex and love are two completely different things. We are animals. I love my animal. ALWAYS PROTECT YOURSELF. Anyways, it all depends on what kind of love you have to begin with. We are best friends and I can't see my future without him. Crazy, right?
—Guest Cheater McCheaterson

Made the break but still miserable

I have been married for 32 years and have been with him for 35. He was always mr. nice guy, mr. personality, the life of the party. But I was so young that I knew no better. To make a long story short, I have always suspected he has cheated on me but I had 2 kids, a great economic position and didn't want my kids to come from a broken home like I did. I never worked, got out of high school and got married, had no career. My son has his own career, lives on his own and my daughter is still in school and lives at home. I started working 2 years ago and during that year he was out of control!! My woman's intuition kicked in and I started investigating through phone records and confronted him. He said I was crazy, it wasn't like that. I quit my job and followed him, found him one day at her house. He keeps denying it but I just couldn't take it anymore and left my home and rented an apt. I am miserable, depressed and lonely. I am 50 yrs old but I look 30, I've always taken care of my appearance, this woman is 33. What do i do now?
—angeleyez7

pathological cheater

I was with a guy for 3 years, and it turned out he was cheating on me from day 1. He had a girlfriend when we first got together, but he told me they had broken up. I left the country for 4 months and I told him I understood if he wanted freedom while I was away. Obviously, he said he loved me and didn't want to be free. He hooked up with 4 girls while I was away and got mad at me for questioning him . A mutual friend even once showed me a picture of him kissing another girl and somehow he talked his way out. I guess I'll believe what I want to believe. I caught him once, and he tried to deny it even after I told him the other girl called me to tell me about their relationship. All of his cheating drove me to cheat on him, but now I'm with a new boyfriend that I would never even dream of cheating on. I cheated on him, but I did it because of the situation. He cheats because that's who he is. He will always be a cheater and cheat on whomever he gets to marry him
—Guest moved on

If it's not one girl it's another

When my boyfriend and I first got together he was still trying to get over this other girl. Stupid me I thought he was already over her. I kept finding texts and seeing they talked but he said it never happened. He finally said it did but he would never do it again. He stopped after 6 months...maybe more. 2 years later I finally forgave him for that. During the 1st year he went home for Christmas and this ugly girl was hitting on him and I saw that and he told her she was hot.... I was so upset. We are 3 years into the relationship and just had a baby who is now 2 months. 2 weeks into the relationship he tells a girl he's single and likes her... Supposedly they did nothing. She texted him one day when he was at the gym and I looked and started writing her back as if I was him and found out everything. He said he was unhappy with our relationship because I don't try to look beautiful for him. He says he told her to stop talking to him but when I looked at his phone record he still was... I don't know what to do.
—Guest babs

What to do?

I've been seeing this guy for the last 4 months. Not only he has lied to me but also lied to himself that he doesn't have any kids and that he got divorced. So my gut feeling kept telling me he's hiding something which I didn't know about. So I listened to my gut and I'm SO GLAD I DID. When I found out about his wife, especially his kids, I just felt so numb. How could a married man cheat on his wife and kids? I'm positive he has probably done it before. If I was married and my husband cheated on me. I'd rather know from the women!!! One thing...I don't want to tell her because her youngest is barely 8 months old. Please help me ladies in here. I thank you!
—Jannaaa

craigslist "Casual Encounters"

I discovered my boyfriend of 2 years was placing "Casual Encounters" ads on craigslist. Of course he denied and lied, then tried the usual "but I LOVE you!" and "I don't want to lose you" gambits. I dumped him on the spot, then decided to turn the situation into a project, inviting people to rewrite his personal ad (since he *claims" he never met anyone as a result, thus "didn't cheat". poor guy!) to help him be more successful in cheating in the future. The results (posted at http://rewritemyex.blogspot.com) were just as creative and hilarious ad I'd hoped (feel free to contribute!). It was the perfect exercise for me to turn a bad situation into a creative, fun project.
—Guest RewriteMyEx

blue eyes crying in the rain

As yet, I have't done it. But I'm getting ready to slap him w/a divorce suit. It's taking time to save money. They want so much. I've joined AA to get over the drinking his cheating drove me to. It's working!
—Guest blueeyesAZ

My husband cheats on me always

We are together for 4 and half years and now we have a baby. Instead of loving me over time he is cheating on me now. I want to leave him but I'm a bit too scared. I'm too broken that I cannot even cry anymore. Please help. I really need advice to leave or to stay.
—Guest Rose

Should I believe him?

2 months ago I thought my boyfriend was cheating on me with my friend because he was always with her and everything like that and I thought that some flirting was involved. He proved me wrong so I believed him. Then 2 months later we were having a nice conversation over the internet and he called me her name and said sorry it was because I was just talking to her. Should I believe him after what had happened before? Advice (not for my situation but for a situation I have already been through): If it is once don't make such a big deal about it, but if it keeps happening he's gonna know and you should be able to figure out that he isnt being completely honest with you and that you should tell him the things that you have been noticing. Just somethng that might help people out there that are having problems, please notice the bad things that are happening + please say something bout it otherwise it wil be trapped inside u 4ever or u wont b able 2 say how u really feel
—Guest Emily

A guy who knows how it feels

I know how it is when someone cheats on you. i was cheated on by a girl. She told me that she was in love with me and we were together for one year. She used me for money. Once when I went to her home I saw a guy having sex with her. I loved her more than anything else. But she cheated on me.
—srikanthgowlikar

Guys weekend in Montreal

My husband of 5 years (we have been together for 7 years) went to Montreal for a guys weekend. Him and a friend went to club supersex and found a stripper that would have sex with them for $1,000. They both had sex with her one after another and together for hours. I am sick just thinking about it. i can't get the images out of my head. I trusted him with all of my heart. He says it happened because he was obsessed with anonymous sex and porn. He barely had sex with me for years because he was masturbating so much to porn 3-5x daily. I would try so hard to make myself attractive to him, but nothing ever worked - he never looked at me. I'd stay fit, get spray tans, do whatever it too to look nice, it just did not work. My self esteem is crushed. It happened a week before our 5 year wedding aniversary - He just got a new job in a new state, so I left everything I had and now I am here all alone. I feel like i am crushed I have nothing left.
—Guest foxy2876

Should divorce

A husband, boyfriend who cheats should be divorced because he can bring sickness. So to me there should be divorce.
—Guest siysa

My cheating husband

My husband has been cheating on me for 6 years. I don't care. She is older. I am sure he loves her. She does not want anything from him. She has a 16 year old, we have 2 kids, 8 - autistic to an extent a boy and then a year old kid. We won't divorce and have not had sex. She has never interfered in our lives and has never tried to contact me and has never gone public. Does she just want sex from him? He's not a great lover. Maybev she brings out the beast in him. Is she for real?
—natalieashleigh

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