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Readers Respond: Cheating Husband, Cheating Boyfriend - What Did You Do About It?

Responses: 248


How did this guy convince me?

I am a married 38 year old woman. When I was 30 my husband and I separated (he left me). Soon after reconciling, when I was still hurt, I became involved with a male co-worker who is 21 years older than me. I was very hesitant at first toward his advances but something seemed so sweet, safe, and attractive about him. He wasn't a flirt around the office or anything. He just seemed to be taken with me. We've been involved for the last 8 years and I truly believed I was happy. Recently, I had this feeling something wasn't quite right and I checked his email and found several emails to another woman. (She is 57 years old.) She was his high school sweetheart. I had sent him a romantic song through YOUTUBE and he sent her the same song a week later. He also wrote her a very sweet email about how she was the woman meant to be his all these years. My heart was broken. Cheaters are cheaters, don't walk - RUN! I'm just glad I get a chance to change now while I have a chance and my eyes are open!

He left me to return to his wife

I fell in love with a man called John before Xmas. He was good and very caring towards me, he told me he loved me more than anything and that he was glad that we were together. He was separated from his wife and they had one child; I know he loves his child more than anything in the whole world. The reason he left his wife was because she was a complete control freak. When she found out about me all hell broke out. She threatened that she would stop him from seeing his little girl and also got his mother and family involved. He told me he can't see me anymore, even though he loves me and I was his soul mate. He passes me in his car and stares out at me as if he wants to talk to me. I have a broken heart and I feel that life is too short from him to be wasting it on her even though I know he is there for the child's sake. I know deep down that he loves me and that we had somthing very special that only comes along once in a lifetime. I know I will always love him and have a special place for him.
—Guest cindy

Why still lie?

After being together for almost 10 years, we decided a couple of weeks ago to get married. I was starting to plan the wedding, giddy with excitement. A week later he has to go to the doctor because his "thing" hurts. He ends up having epididymitis, claims it's not from chalmydia. I believe him, why not? He's been awesome. After 10 days of antibiotics we decide to have sex. It hurt me, I went to check it out, I had chlamydia!! He is still acting like I got this from some other person!! I NEVER EVER strayed!! He won't admit he cheated, but the proof is in me! I had a nervous/mental breakdown and attempted suicide. When I got home, he tells me to just get it off my chest that I cheated! I am so hurt and confused. How can he be so mean and callous? And to think, I was gonna marry him! Me and our daughter 9, are confused. She went from being a flower girl to seeing dad and mom split in 1 week. I want to hurt him sooo bad!!!!!!
—Guest sad

Should I stay with this liar?

Just found out this past weekend that my boyfiend of 8 years has been have a sexual relationship with his female boss (who is about 10-12 years older than him) for the last two years. He told me that they would get together when they went on business trips....and they went on a lot. I knew that something was going on with someone because he was so secretive with his phone and email, but I just didn't know who it was. His boss is not attractive, married, and has a kid...so I never in a million years thought it was her. This relationship started when he and I were living together, but I currently live in a different state because of work. She is now getting a divorce from her husband, and the whole thing is now out in the open. I still love him despite how disgusting his actions are to me, but I don't know whether I can ever look at him the same. I don't know what was a lie and what wasn't in our relationship. Would you stay with someone like this?
—Guest I tired of liars

Like an earthquake when I found out

I have been married for 22 years. 2003 I ended up with breast cancer and had chemo drugs for 3 years and decided to give it up. A year later my husband had a sexual encounter with a co-worker. We go to counseling and a couple months later I get emails in a envelope; they are emails of my husband and another girl from work chattingit up. I approached her and she said never and my hubby said no way. I thougt it was the first girl doing this to spite me. but no 6 years later I find out the emails were true, my husband has been having an affair for 6 years of our marriage, he even went to Florida, Seattle, Mexico with me in those years; we did counselling for 9 months; he would write emails and text me; I love you, you're hot blah blah. All a web of lies and I can't understand why another woman would not know he was married -- he was with me all the time. He did this so he didn't have to pay child support and alimony. Watch out for your man ladies; mine was even a Christian man when he cheated.
—Guest integrity

My first boyfriend cheated on me

I just found out that my first boyfriend of nearly two months cheated on me with some bi chick we both know. We broke up just a week ago, but apparently this has been going on longer then that. My first time out there and I get burned, screwed over. The sucky part is some of my "friends" knew about it earlier on and didn't tell me until today. I can't even look at him now without wanting to make him hurt as bad as he hurt me. And to think I was gonna try to make things better between us...
—Guest Pissed

I'm so in love but I'm getting so hurt

I have been with my man for about three years. And though I'm in love I'm very heartbroken by him. He has been caught cheating and lying and talking to mutiple women on the chat line. Is it something I'm not doing right? I'm so confused.
—Guest britt britt

Who's telling the truth?

I have been dating this guy for 2 months. He calls me and texts me but this other girl says he is her man. I dont know what to believe but he says she is crazy. What should I do?
—Guest Ana

Everyone gets hurt

My boyfriend is cheating. We've been together twelve years and we have a son who is nine years old. His cheating is hurting me, our son, all of us.
—Guest lally

Can't Stop Thinking About Other Part 2

Finally I found an e-mail from her on his myspace confirming everything and begging him to take her back. It was sickening and I called her and left her a voice mail telling her to leave us alone. He was leaving for a business trip and I called him right before he boarded the plane to tell him I knew of the affair. He freaked out and boarded the plane then called me back and asked if he could come see me (right then) and I told him to go. We spent the next few days talking a lot on the phone and he admitted everything to me. It was hard to hear and it was hard for him to come clean but he told me he loved me more now than he ever had and I truly believe him. The only problem is I can't stop thinking about the other girl and it hurts. I'm obsessed with checking our phone records and her facebook page. It's driving me insane!
—Guest Sarah

Can't Stop Thinking About 'Other' Part 1

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. We lived together for 3 years when he started to change. He was talking about this girl who worked for him a lot (a girl 10 years younger than him) and once he came home drunk and spent a good 15 minutes oogling at her myspace in front of me. Then one night he was out all night and didn't come home or answer his phone. I got a call at 7:30 from him at his grandparents saying he couldn't face me and wanted a break. A few days later he said he was going to visit his brother in another city but it turned out he took her with him. I knew she went even though he didn't say anything so I left. I kept trying to make it work with him but he wasn't trying so I gave up and we were apart for about 2 months when I called him angry one night and blew up at him. He started crying and telling me how much he missed me and loved me. We got back together but he kept denying having a relationship with the girl (continued...)
—Guest Sarah


I met this guy online whom I love, but 5 days later we met in person and he slept with me. Ever since then, he has not called again. He is married and I'm married. What do I do? I think about him always. Should I call him?
—Guest nkiru

I was shocked by what he did

I have been dating the father of my child for 7 years. My baby is 10 months old and he met a girl and took her number. He never mentioned that he has a family. He bought her airtime and they were supposed to meet when I found out. I don't know what to do. He shocked me -- he's never been that type of person.
—Guest Renata

When my husband cheated

I had given birth to my second child; she was in play school and had a best friend. Her best friend's mum and my husband got off together when my husband was at 'work.' I didn't know what to do at first so I told my child to stay away. She didn't understand at first then my husband explained. I was so close to chucking him out but I knew if I did my children would be worried about him. So I kicked him out for a little while. Meanwhile the women who had cheated with my husband stood on my doorstep to explain. I heard a huge fwump. I couldn't control my hand at that moment. My child came up to me and said, "Where's daddy?" He was sitting on the bedroom floor crying. Meanwhile my eldest Bethany was trying to find out what was wrong. Now we are still together and married. I just hope he doesn't do it again.
—Guest Sarah

One Big Fat Mess

Well. When me and my ex were 15, we got together and it was on and off for about a year, until we got together for serious. For 8 months, we were so in love (we lost our virginity to each other during this time) and then he broke up with me (we were 16 at this point), said he wasn't in love with me anymore. Broke my heart. But after a few weeks, he said he missed me and asked me back out, I said yes. And then a week or two later, he finished me, saying he didn't love me. This happened 3ish times. The last time, while we were going out, he went to a party and cheated on me with my best friend. He was a pig at this time, didn't care about anyone or anything. After a few months, I continued to see him, just as friends, but we kissed and cuddled a few times, and had sex. Now, we are 18 and he's grown and much more mature. We see each other every now and then and recently he's saying that he really loves me again and wants me back. I don't know what to do.
—Guest Confused

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