I hadn't yet settled on any firm New Year's resolutions for 2010 when I saw a USA Today article describing how women feel guiltier than men about not living an environmentally green lifestyle. Apparently an online poll commissioned by the marketing consulting firm Tiller concluded that women are more likely than men to:

• Have 'green guilt' (41% vs. 27%)
• Recycle more this year (52% vs. 33%)
• Carry a reusable bag to the grocery store (51% vs. 30%)
• Reduce household energy usage (48% vs. 32%)

I wish Tiller had checked with me before releasing the survey because my family would have completely skewed the results.

I'm not the one with green guilt. It's my husband, a small business owner who is so green he prefers to 'go Greyhound' and take the bus instead of driving his own car when he has out-of-town business. And it's not like he drives an SUV -- we both own Priuses.

At home, we've used compact fluorescent bulbs for years, replaced every single window in our 1950s-era house with energy efficient ones, installed a tankless water heater and had extra insulation blown into the walls.  And that's just the tip of the green iceberg.

My husband is so green, he's the one who hangs laundry on a clothesline in the warmer months. The one who threw out all the old Christmas lights and bought energy-efficient LED mini-lights. The one who stopped using wrapping paper years ago and puts presents in reusable fabric bags. (Because of this, my daughter claims she's too 'wrapping impaired' to make a gift look presentable.)

He's also the one who programmed the thermostat to keep the house at 67 degrees during our waking hours and 61 degrees overnight.

I'm too cold to feel guilty about anything green as I write this past midnight, bundled up in sweaters and blankets. But if truth be told, like any lifestyle change, it stops feeling like a sacrifice and becomes 'normal' in time.

Yes, my husband is atypical, but is living 'green' really a gender-linked behavior and mindset? According to Tiller principal James Marren:

Women are clearly more focused than men on incorporating environmental responsibility into daily household activities....women continue to carry most of the burden of household management. To the extent that women can bring other family members along, perhaps environmentally responsible behaviors will take root even more strongly....

The household management point is well-taken, but I believe it's personal inclination -- and not gender -- that determines who is the 'green one' in the family.

And why is the default gender for 'guilt' always female? Haven't we already been guilted enough into doing certain tasks due to our gender despite our personal inclinations?

Take meal preparation for example. It's no longer a given that when a man comes home, the little woman will have a hot meal on the table. In fact, many men are much happier when they're the ones serving up the hot meal...and many women are even happier to announce, "I don't cook."

So isn't there a dreadful irony in the fact that just as we're escaping the burden of kitchen duties -- and handing over the once "womanly art of home cooking" to manly men -- there are those who would assign another gendered task to women under the guise of "green guilt"?

Why that word 'guilt' -- an emotion too often used to describe the underlying motivations that direct women's lives and guide their actions?

Instead of labeling this impulse as "green guilt" (which imparts a sense of shame or inadequacy and paints it as a failing of women who are not doing enough), why not call it "green conscience" and see the eco-glass as half-full?

It's not guilt that drives women. It's an implicit understanding that every great obstacle can be chipped away -- slowly and steadily -- until the boulder in the road is reduced to a scattering of rubble and dust underfoot.

Those chips can take the form of a couple of reusable bags carried into the supermarket, a little extra effort to rinse and recycle a jar or can,  or an extra sweater worn to make up for a thermostat set at a lower temperature. All are deliberate actions undertaken with an end in sight -- the slowing of global warming and climate change, and perhaps the reversal of negative effects.

To interpret these thoughtful efforts as attempts to assuage 'green guilt' negate what they represent -- acts of personal responsibility undertaken by women (and men) in order to fix the mess we've gotten ourselves into.

Whatever form these resolutions take -- and whatever time of year they're implemented -- is irrelevant. What matters is that we're committing ourselves to changing how we live to protect the planet, and moving ahead with a sense of purpose -- not reacting out of a sense of guilt.

Do your New Year's resolutions include any green changes? What are your resolutions for this year, and do you think there is a gender gap when it comes to the kinds of resolutions women make as compared to men?

Share your resolutions & see what other readers are saying:
My New Year's Resolutions

About a month ago my 16-year-old daughter Em blocked herself from Facebook. Unable to resist logging on whenever she did homework on the computer, she edited a file in the operating system that locked her out of the wildly popular social networking site.

I thought she was being extreme until the article "To Deal With Obsession, Some Defriend Facebook" appeared in the New York Times last week:

[M]any teenagers, especially girls...are recognizing the huge distraction Facebook presents -- the hours it consumes every day, to say nothing of the toll it takes during finals and college applications, according to parents, teachers and the students themselves.

Some teenagers...form a support group to enforce their Facebook hiatus. Others deactivate their accounts. Still others ask someone they trust to change their password and keep control of it until they feel ready to have it back.

In labeling their behavior an "addiction,"  they're taking ownership and asking for help. Often they turn to a parent for support. In a forum at the College Confidential website, a member posted, "HELP! My daughter asked me if I knew how to 'block facebook' since she thinks it too distracting. Can anyone advise?"

Psychologist Kimberly Young, director of the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery, sees many teens struggling with this:

"It's like any other addiction," Dr. Young said. "It's hard to wean yourself."

Dr. Young said she admired teenagers who came up with their own strategies for taking Facebook breaks in the absence of computer-addiction programs aimed at them.

"A lot of them are finding their own balance," she said. "It's like an eating disorder. You can't eliminate food. You just have to make better choices about what you eat." She added, "And what you do online."

Choices are not easily made, especially when impulse control is a problem. The siren song of instantly accessible 24/7 content, information, and entertainment is distracting and persistent. Even those who maintain different computers for work and play often cross the line without thinking, even if it's just a minute here or there.

Using the same technology for work and play complicates the issue. And with the internet removing the barriers of time and space, staying in touch online becomes not only a social networking issue but a way to fulfill family obligations and stay connected to far-flung relatives.

At a Christmas family gathering, my niece's husband Craig explained how he stays close with his brother living in Japan. The two play an interactive war game using their home gaming systems to connect through the internet; they chat using a microphone and speakers and play on a regular basis . This kind of interaction avoids the awkward pauses of a phone call and offers an easy way to spend time together in shared activities.

I do the same thing using the Facebook application Farmville, a simple game in which players grow crops, raise animals, and interact with "neighbors" by doing helpful chores. Through Farmville I've reconnected with a cousin I haven't seen since we were kids, kept tabs on an old family friend, and stayed in touch with my older daughter who's away at college.

The key to all this is balance. We run the risk of sacrificing our real-world relationships for our online connections if we don't set boundaries. Case in point: I'm home right now, writing this in a quiet house. Everybody's home today because of the holiday break and my husband's birthday, but we're all in our own cones of silence, wrapped up in our respective computer pursuits.  We're within one room of each other, but we might as well be on the other side of the world. We're that oblivious to each other.

Technology can bring us together or isolate us. Naming the problem -- as Em and other teens have done -- and creating systems to resolve issues helps establish a more equitable balance between the online environment and real life.

You probably don't need to be reading this online to get the message, but I'll say it as a gentle reminder to myself and to you. It's time to turn off the computer...and reconnect with those around you.

She's the ultimate political spouse, the good wife who has stood by her husband's side for decades. While her famous other half -- an international man of mystery -- travels by air and draws a standing-room only crowd at every mall appearance, she stays home, bakes cookies, and serves a mostly ornamental role.

But it wasn't always this way for Mrs. Claus. When she first appeared on the scene in 1889, she was known as "Goody Santa Claus" (goody a shortened version of 'goodwife,' a title once given to married women.) A feisty helpmate, she was depicted by poet Katharine Lee Bates as being disgruntled that Santa got all the glory while she did all the work.

So what did she do to remedy the situation? She set out to prove that a woman could fly around the world, slide down chimneys, and stuff stockings just as well as a man.

I was enchanted when I discovered the largely-unknown poem "Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride" and found out that Mrs. Claus -- in word and deed -- was essentially a 'women's libber' a full century before that term came into being.

Don't believe me? Take a look at "Was Mrs. Claus an Early Feminist Icon?" for the story of Goody Santa Claus and her creator Katharine Lee Bates, the author of the lyrics to "America the Beautiful."

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, there's a gift for every woman in the tale of a wife who slyly says to her old-fashioned husband (who begrudgingly lets her ride  in the sleigh but declares she can't stuff a single stocking), "Yes, I know the task takes brain, Dear. I can only hold the reindeer."

Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays) to all, and to all a good holiday weekend.

Related article: Was Mrs. Claus an Early Feminist Icon?

_{Photo © Alex Wong/Getty Images}

By now you've heard of the Army general in Iraq who has threatened to court martial women who serve under his command and become pregnant during their tour of duty. Both the pregnant female soldiers and the men who impregnated them would face disciplinary action -- even if the couple is married.

What kind of message does this send to women in the military, or women contemplating military service? Is this what we want to promote in the U.S. -- imprisoning women who become pregnant at what the Army determines is an inopportune time?

Four Democratic senators have sent a letter to Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo to let him know that his policy is draconian. As ABC News reported earlier today, they insisted that he reconsider his actions:

"We can think of no greater deterrent to women contemplating a military career than the image of a pregnant woman being severely punished simply for conceiving a child," the senators wrote to Cucolo today. "This defies comprehension. As such, we urge you to immediately rescind this policy."

The letter was signed by Sens. Barbara Boxer of California, Barbara Mikulski of Maryland, Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire, and Kirsten Gillibrand of New York.

Soldiers who become pregnant are routinely sent back to the U.S. If they wish to terminate the pregnancy, they have limited options thanks to the Hyde Amendment which prohibits abortion coverage for women in the military. A woman who fears court martial may be forced into a decision she might otherwise not make. And finding abortion services overseas compounds an already difficult situation as the ABC story indicates:

John Hutson, a former longtime military judge advocate and currently the president and dean of Franklin Pierce Law School in New Hampshire....worried that Cucolo's policy could cause an increase in abortions overseas. And since military hospitals do not perform such procedures, female officers may find abortions are available not "in the way you want them," Hutson said, forcing women to potentially dangerous providers of such services.