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Readers Respond: Cougar - Positive or Negative Image of Women and Female Sexuality?

Responses: 280


respect to the cougars out there

Hi all. I am 24 years old, and I recently googled the word cougars, cause so many people be talking of it and I must say, I'm rather impressed of what I derived from this.... Anyways, we all want something in life, whether its a million rand boat, a fancy car, smart house... Some of us just want something more from life itself, and who better to share it with than an older woman? Not many can take on that role, no matter how young and naïve / gullable, it just aint the same. I wish I dated a older woman, I think that would make me even more mature. Older sensible woman are like wine, they just more embracing, that's a pure sense of maturity one can taste! Its so close, yet so far, yet right next to me. That's my take on it. Use it, don't use it. Your call detective. You can't fill an empty space with just anything, sometimes its gota be filled with something different, something older, something that's not your age. That's my take on it.
—Guest I'm a believer!

I am a Cougar...deal with it!

Funny to see all the strong responses of the young ones here! I am a cougar and married to someone 12 years my junior. We are happy with no end! To the younger ones...drop your insecurities and enjoy life! My husband's friend, his age, envy him for the relationship we have. Cougars are settled, secure, mature...and we don't ask questions like... Do I look fat in this? Am I fat? Is she sexier than me? Do you love me? Will you leave me for someone else? Why are you looking at her? Ladies...be fun to be with! Men don't care about age...they want to be with someone confident and content...
—Guest Juli

What about this example?

This is someone I know: At 38 she had never been married,and had no kids. She met a 25 yr old. Within a few months(3-5) he moved in when she got pregnant. Two years later, another pregnancy. Seven years later, finally married. Just asking for your opinion...true love or a desperate attempt to find a baby daddy before it's too late?

Holy Moly

Like one of the ladies said earlier i cant believe the negative attitudes of some of the all n mighty here!. These women arnt sluts, in many cases its their ex husbands that were the sluts, they are generally just fun loving women that enjoy the feeling of youthfullness that a younger man can give them. Obvious sexual benefits for the guys means there will never be a shortage of younger men willing to show these lovely ladies where their boring old exs were so getting it wrong!
—Guest Richie

I got the vanity plate to prove it!

I have been married to a younger man for 4 wonderful years, and I value our marriage more than anything. It's my first marriage and my last unless I become widow--god forbid!!! Or he hits me (which i more unlikely than him dying...he has a very dangerous job!) in our relationship we are a team ...equal authority and responsibility a single unit we call "the house". I don't label myself as a "feminist" but as a human being. I believe in equality no discrimination and no favoritism. My husband calls me a cougar even though I'm only 30 and look 20 because I spend 4 days at the gym a week. I like this pet name! All this negativity with cougar is mostly (mostly not all) by men that are threatened by strong women who refuse to go along with that "obey husband" nonsense obeying is for children I am not a child And Women who let themselves go ,who men walk all over because they believe that "gender role" horse$&!@...their just jealous of the cougar...that's why they call us "sluts"
—Guest Jenette

Cougar? Fine with me!

I am married to a man 7 years younger than me. Before I met him I was all about the "silver foxes" older men sometimes twice my age. I concidered anyone under my age as "kids" and when I look back I turned down ALOT of cuties. But my husband prosued me aggressively and once I got to know him I found he was as mature as any of those old guys! Since then, when I get hit on by guys in their teens it's a huge compliment .... But I do look 10 years younger than my age, and I'm athletic and wear younger fashions. My husband calls me a "puma" which says is young cougar...and I take being called a cougar as a compliment to me an image of a cougar is a sophisticated lady who takes care of herself, is athletic, and lives a healthy life style. Being a cougar has nothing to do with being a nymphomaniac...there are some skanky cougars out there, but their status as cougar have nothing to do with her sexual life... It is because younger men find her attractive, and she prefers their company.
—Guest Sasha

The term 'Cougar'

Re: > the term 'cougar' comes from the big-game predatory cat of the same name, the cougar connection also may allude to the wearing of animal print clothing > no equivalent term for males who date younger females exists Yes, an equivalent term exists for males: He's called a "Wolf". Both terms come from the predatory animals. Clothing has nothing to do with it. And a term for the young prey? I think the females are sometimes called "Kittens". For the males, I venture to suggest "Rabbits" ... Also, re sethbork: > at what age do women stop calling males "boy toys" > Three years ago I was a "boy toy" but now I'm hitting my late 30s and my fiancee is a very young adult. You answered your own question. It changes when you change whom you date. > How did I go from "boy toy" to creepy perv? Just how young is she? 17? "Perv". 27? Not so much. But ultimately, what others call you doesn't matter, as long as you keep each other happy!
—Guest Nick Peterson

Do what makes you happy!!!

I'm a 44 year old dating a 33 year man that approached me. He loves older thick women.
—Guest Smiley

luv young hotties!

Wow lot of negativity here. I am a nice looking 49 yr old and have a playdate with a 30 yr old tonight! Hes excited and so am i! ;) fun for both of us. We are both of age and to each his own. I dont see the harm in being a cougar. So when we are enjoying eachothers company to all you haters.... Lol dont judge me im a hard working woman and a non drinker...sorry for your luck that i will be having a great time with my stud and you will be sitting in front of the tv watching the same boring stuff u watch every week. ;p
—Guest michigancougar


I hate the nickname, but I must say I truly disagree with a lot of the post I've read. Bitter ass women just mad at the fact they don't have what it takes 2 have a "MAN" period. My boyfriend is 11 yrs. younger than me. We did not meet at a bar nor a night club. It was right after church on a nice sunny day. I was not looking slutty as I seen in one post nor did I approach him. numbers were exchanged then the ages. He never believed my age and continued to see me. Relationship has been better than ever. 3yrs and we are still together, happy and in love. This is my 1st relationship with a younger man and we are a like in all ways except for AGE. HELL YEAH I still got it for all the single OLD women that HATE on older women & younger men relationships.
—Guest NOTaCougar

11 years and 2 months older

I am 33 and started setting an extremely attractive, sweet, and 'unjaded' 22 year old. I mentioned it to my family and have been snickered at and ridiculed to moo end - even my my younger cousin (19 yrs old). I didn't think the relationship would last this long or become so serious. I worry about the future, but am learning to just enjoy the moment (not ruin it with worrying. Life really is short, and I'll take my happy however it comes
—Guest misscriss78

Cougar- positive or Negative

I find totally OK! my babe is 22 and I am 40. We say what we both want and no drama. No jealousy. No games! Just plain fun! He gets all the attention he likes and I get to enjoy a filet mignon.
—Guest Youngblood

Younger Guys are Way More Active

I am 39, but don't look my age and I am a pretty active person. I don't quite fit in with being with guys my age because they just want to watch t.v. all of the time and be settled down and boring (for me personally). I don't choose guys by their age, I choose them by their personality. I am finding that I really am digging younger guys because we have so much in common and I have a renewed sense of passion. Currently I am seeing a 25 y/o and I feel so good!! I would have never imagined dating someone that young. I guess, if something works for you, then it works. Don't question happiness.
—Guest Crystal

'natural' with younger men

I live together with a wonderful young, good looking and intelligent man of 22 and I am 56. I do not understand why people get upset. Even that I am older than his mother (and about the age of his grand mom and he is younger than my two daughters does everything work fine in/out of the bedroom. It was not easy in the beginning (he was 19 then), but now it is accepted.

In Praise of Older Women

Now by no means a young man, I do recall that I was always attracted to older women even when I was in my early teens. Unfortunately I never encountered a Mrs Robinson type, so my experiences with older women had to wait until I myself was older - I have never changed my tastes and even now do not feel excited by young women. Apart from the 'disgusted by it all brigade' whom I suspect are mainly from the USA , there is an interesting discrepancy in outlook. My son had a very good looking school friend who received the sexual attentions of some of the mothers of his other friends. Nobody seemed to think there was any harm in it; the young man receiving the benefit of the experience of the older women and the women the good-natured envy of their friends. Had this been an attractive friend of a daughter matters, I am sure, would have been very different with the fathers denounced as dirty old men taking advantage of a young girl. I am glad that I don't fancy young girls!
—Guest hank

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