Where I Started
I am 25 and I have been a feminist since forever. I come from a family of strong women, who were sometimes forced to be strong and in other times strong by the nature of their spirit and the size of their personalities. Having said that, they probably don't consider themselves feminists, although they most definitely are. Coming from a Russian Soviet background women are considered feminine and successful only if they display a man-dependent attitude in just about everything; at the same time, men were not around to help because of demographic imbalance between men/women, social dysfunction of families and alcoholism.
What Influenced Me
Although my father never had an alcohol problem, he had other issues and it became evident early in life that he was not going to be there for me and my mom. His depression throughout the years and my mom's victim mentality mixed with a sturdy desire to do things differently made me believe a woman is not handicapped without a man (a very revolutionary thought in the society I grew up in). I saw a lot of relationship dependency, low self esteems, self-imposed stereotypes and myth and when I saw myself repeating the same things (although I knew better) I realized a lot had to be done and self empowerment and spirituality were key. A lot of strong women in pop culutre were inspirational. Working with my mom as a team was a great way of stopping the family's long history of dependency and divorce that were supposed to empower women.
Lessons Learned
- 1. It's not their job to make me feel worthy - it is my job only
- 2. Sex is what I do to make ME feel good, not to make me be liked. Plus, learning to have sex without feelings is NOT a way to freedom, it's a way to emptiness
- 3. Acting stupid and infantile will draw stupid and infantile men
- 4. I am NEVER a victim. I am a grown woman who makes her own choices
- 5. Pleasing men does not create strong families and does not make a man respect you. LOVE = RESPECT
- 6. It is okay to have weaknesses
- 7. Trying to be like men is not feminism, neither is hating men or being alone for the wrong reasons
