Start By Believing - Strauss-Kahn Sexual Assault Case Illustrates Victims' Fear That 'No One Will Believe Me'

After one newspaper claimed she was a prostitute and others accused her of doing it for the money,  the hotel maid who accused Dominique Strauss-Kahn of sexual assault now has a name, a face, and her version of the story all across the internet. After two months of silence, 32-year-old Nafissatou Diallo has told her story to Newsweek and ABC News. Last night the TV network aired her interview with Robin Roberts on Nightline.

Whether or not her coming forward is a publicity stunt to pressure prosecutors to move forward with her case isn't the issue. What matters is that after being victimized once, she stopped hiding behind a wall of anonymity and told us exactly what happened without mincing words. Her story depicts an encounter of brutality at the hands of a man who saw her as nothing. She also conveyed her overwhelming fear of losing a job that she loved, a position that enabled her and her daughter to live what she saw as a good life.

She described what happened to her with forthrightness, avoiding euphemisms and speaking so authentically that her words surely resonated with a number of women viewers.

Yes, she's made some mistakes. She fabricated parts of her application seeking asylum in the US to boost her chances of getting in. She unknowingly associated with convicted criminals, people she trusted who took advantage of her illiteracy and used her bank accounts to stash illegally obtained funds. Does she seem credible in saying she knew nothing about it? Yes. Having worked in the field of adult literacy for more than a decade, I've met many individuals who've told similar stories.

However, the thinking goes that if she lied about one thing, she'll lie about anything. It's much easier to believe that the DSK story was made up and turn a blind eye to her situation.

As former police officer and sex crimes/law enforcement expert Joanne Archambault told me in a recent interview, "To be a credible sexual assault victim, you'd better be a nun in church praying at the time."

Because she doesn't fit the bill, Diallo is problematic for prosecutors, partly because of her background and partly because they believed she changed her story. There are too many inconsistencies, they say.

What this 32-year-old widow and single mother described in her ABC interview is riveting -- a story with two principals from completely different worlds.

Here's a woman working at "the best job" she ever had as a maid in a high-end hotel, knowing that "if I work that job I can have a good life with my daughter." Losing that job is her greatest fear. Here's a man with a womanizer reputation (and now a lawsuit filed back in France on similar assault charges) staying in a $3000 a night suite, who unexpectedly appears in the room the maid is cleaning -- a room she had been told was empty. Here's what happened in Diallo's own words, unedited:

I saw a naked man come to me...I turned my head. He come to me and grabbed my breasts...He pushed me into the bedroom...pushed me to the bed...he tried to put his penis in my mouth and I closed my lips like this, I turn my head...He keep pushing me down the hallway...he ripped my dress...I cannot get up...he was holding my head so tight... he said "Suck my dick." I cannot say nothing because he keep doing it...I get up and keep spitting...I was so scared....he don't say nothing....after few minutes he get dressed...

I don't t know what to do...I don't know who to tell....I tell [my supervisor] what happened...

When security arrived and asked her what she wanted to do, she said she didn't know and left it to them. They called the police. Strauss-Kahn, in the meantime, left the hotel to have lunch with his daughter and eventually headed to the airport where he was apprehended.

Nafissatou Diallo's story has broader ramifications than the tale of one woman who was sexually assaulted. She's doing something that many others before her have tried to do -- normalize the discussion of rape. It's an attempt that's been years in the making.

Alice Sebold was a freshman at Syracuse University when she was raped by a stranger in a park near campus. A shy and quiet girl, she had trouble coming to terms with what happened and had been a virgin at the time of her assault. Her experiences formed the basis of her memoir Lucky, and its release in 1999 stunned readers. In an interview with Powell's Books, she explained:

One of the reasons why I wrote it is because tons of people have had similar stories, not exactly the same but similar, and I want the word "rape" to be used easily in conversation. My desire would be that somehow my writing would take a little bit of the taboo or the weirdness of using that word away. No one work is going to accomplish the years of work that need to be done, but it can help.

The more stories we tell, the more other women will stand up and tell theirs.

At Time magazine, Jessica Stern writes about the frustrating double standard of sex crimes and reveals that she and her sister were once rape victims, assaulted at gunpoint by a stranger who broke into their home. Like Diallo,  she wasn't seen as credible by the police...and she was 15 at the time:

In particular, they found my response strangely cold. When asked to write out what occurred, I wrote in an unemotional style in the form of a list. Our father, observing our apparent return to "normalcy," told the police we were "over it," and the police ceased their investigation four months after the crime occurred. The police eventually discovered that our perpetrator was a serial rapist of children, who attacked at least 44 girls ages 9 to 19.

"We've got to do better for these people," Joanne Archambault said as we discussed the DSK case and how critical it is that law enforcement and first responders receive the necessary training to be able to approach rape and sexual assault victims with openness and withhold judgment, even if they behave in ways that seem counterintuitive to what we might expect from a victim.

Diallo was fortunate in having a supervisor who believed her story. But many women don't find that support from friends or family, says Archambault:

Our community, family members, co-workers are not doing well with these victims. If that person doesn't give them some sort of validation, they 're not going to go any further.

To increase awareness of the importance of supporting rape and sexual assault victims, Archambault's organization End Violence Against Women International recently launched "Start By Believing," a campaign to improve the public's response to victims. Like Alice Sebold, she wants to remove the stigma of sexual assault:

There is no shame when tragedy strikes - when a loved one dies or someone is diagnosed with cancer. People are not blamed for bringing it on themselves.It should be the same with sexual violence. Rape and sexual assault are just as devastating, but all too often, women who have the courage to tell someone what happened are blamed for their perceived role in the attack. Our campaign is designed to change this mentality--to improve our individual responses as the first step in improving society as a whole....

Because rapists attack an average of six times, one failed response can equal five more victims....The goal is to change the world, and outcomes for victims, one response at a time.

Although neither Archambault nor anyone else would have ever wished it upon her, Nafissatou Diallo's experiences may provide another opportunity for us to engage in a very public discussion of rape, sexual assault, and our society's attitude toward victims.

Whether or not Diallo has been untruthful in other aspects of her life should not impede her access to the legal system. She was forced to have oral sex against her will, there's evidence that physical violence was involved, and other women have come forward since the story went global. As her attorney told ABC News, ""The standard can't be that you have to live a pristine life. The standard has to be that you've been raped."

As Archambault emphasizes, rapists don't stop with just one victim. Every past victim who comes forward to report the crime is helping to prevent future victims from ever joining their ranks. Stop the blame and end the shame. Start by believing.

More information on the Start By Believing Campaign -- and what you can do to get personally involved --is available at the website StartByBelieving.org

Related articles:

• Rape Victims, False Rape Accusations and Credibility
• Blaming the Victim: The DSK Sexual Assault Case
• Getting the Rape Victim's Story Right and Avoiding Bias
• What are Rape Myths?