"Just Hang Out With Me...On Mother's Day"
But when you lose a child - a loss that is unthinkable, seemingly unbearable - how do you deal with Mother's Day?
Last fall, I found Mystery O. Riley, the online journal of a woman coming to terms with the death of her son. In "a blog I never wanted to write" Linda Siniard records her journey with insight and honesty.
One year after Owen's passing, Linda reflects on his life and her loss in a guest commentary for About.com.
And because there are so few resources for women facing Mother's Day after the death of a child, I asked her for her thoughts. She kindly provided them below:
Related articles:Just hang out with me...
on Mother's Day. When my kids were young and asked what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day, that’s what I said. That’s still my answer. Nat and Owen made time for me so often, I never much differentiated Mother’s Day from any other day of the year.
I remember them asking me on several occasions, “Why isn’t there a Kid’s Day?” My response (borrowed from my mom) was, “Every day is Kid’s Day.” Not an original answer, I’m sure, but it served to start a conversation about greeting card companies, the commercialization of holidays of all sorts, and how this celebration of motherhood began. I didn’t know much about the history of Mother’s Day, but knew that mothers had been specifically acknowledged in different cultures for several centuries, with a variety of traditions, and on a variety of dates.
People have asked me recently how this year will be different, without Owen. I can’t know. In a little over a week, I can speak about this in more definitive terms. I still consider myself the mother of two sons, one here and one there. The best gift I ever received as a mother was…each of them. This year, I expect I’ll be hanging out with Nat, Anna, and Ruby. Dave is sure to make great food for all of us. I don’t want any gifts. I already have them.
-- Linda Siniard
Comments
I would like to see mom this mothers day but we live far apart. I saw a really cool idea today on the CBS Early Show for a mother’s day gift. It was from a website http://photofiddle.com/ They turn your pics into art. I ordered a family photo and made it into an oil on a stretched canvas. I wish I could be there to see her face when she opens this one.
Thanks for this entry. My boss just lost her son last week in a motorcycle accident. This gives me pause to think about the strain next Sunday will have on her in addition to everything else she is experiencing right now.