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Readers Respond: Why Did You Choose Abortion?

Responses: 144

By

I've done it both ways....

I had a child in 2008 when I was at the end of my sophomore year of college. When I'd found out I was pregnant with him eight months prior, I never even considered an abortion. 2 1/2 years later, I became pregnant again. I had been using the pill, although not quite religiously. The guy didn't want the child; abortion was his choice. I, however, wavered on it. On the one hand, I wanted the child. On the other, I was about to graduate and having a baby would keep me from getting a job and supporting my son. So, even though my friends told me to keep the baby, I was scared into an abortion. Raising two children was scary. I wasn't sure I was capable of handling it. So, at 12.3 weeks, I got it done. At the time, I still didn't want to do it but I was scared. The ultrasound picture haunts me. I feel like I'm in hell on earth. I wish I had kept the baby. I cry every day and night thinking about what I did to that baby. Keep the baby! Consider adoption over abortion. You will be much happier
—Guest Neveragain88

A tough decision

I had an abortion when I was 17 in Oct. 2006. It was really hard for me but I knew right when I found out I was pregnant that it was what I wanted to do. I wasn't in the place in my life that I wanted to be in, and I was having such a hard time with my boyfriend at the time. He liked my sister, was emotionally abusive, I really couldn't see myself with him forever, I couldn't see myself going through this and being happy, and I didn't want to be stuck with an a** forever so I called for the appointment. Two years later right before we broke up my ex told everyone we knew that I did it (no one but my family and him knew). It really is a very hard decision to make for any woman. I still feel sad about it every now and then especially now that I just recently had a baby (almost on the anniversary date of the abortion). But I don't regret that I did it. I was right about most of the reasons why I didn't want to go through with the pregnancy. Hope this helps someone out there
—krs23

My reasons

I was 18 when I had an abortion. Fresh out of high school, father was still married but separated. Being young and dumb, I was gullible in thinking his separation from his wife meant that I was something special (ha). I still lived at home, was making little over minimum wage (1981, pennies on the dollar), could no way afford a baby, and biggest reason of all....would have lost support and respect of my family. To have the baby would have defied all practical logic and it made sense to me. All I could see was dismal future, unhappiness, and a child with a father who was pissed off that the baby was born. I believe babies need to come into the world with both parents loving, open arms. Life is hard enough. People under duress are not in right frame of mind to make life-altering moral and ethical decisions; which is usually frame of mind when a women finds herself with an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy. I could just see myself on welfare. No way.
—soosoo13579

Silent No More

I had an abortion at 16. I was not encouraged by anyone to choose life , only death. Doctors on what was called a therapeutic abortion committee at the time told my parents that an abortion would be the best solution. They said it was a simple procedure and reassured my parents that I would return to school the next day unaffected. It was a lie! There was physical , emotional , psychological and spiritual pain that followed for many years. It's been 31 yrs and I can honestly say,the abortion did not solve any problems for me. Instead , it created more problems such as drinking , drugging and promiscuity. I've had 5 miscarriages during my marriage and I believe they were a result of scar tissue from having a surgical abortion. I've also been treated for depression for many years. I've become involved with a campaign called "Silent No More" where I've found much support from others who have experienced abortion as well. I realized that I did not have to suffer alone and there is hope!
—Guest Dale

Not sure

I just found out I was pregnant the other day. I immediately went to the doctor and confirmed everything. I'm 26 years old. I have always been very careful (birth control and smart decisions). We had a lapse in the birth control and in the 3 weeks without, even being "careful" didn't stop this. I know my boyfriend (who I was ready to end things with) doesn't want a child and has made that very clear. We didn't have the best relationship while we were together. I guess I'm really a little unsure. I always thought I would have an abortion if this happened before I was married and stable but I never thought I would be 26 facing this. My body has already started changing (I'm only about 3/4 weeks) and to know there is a little person inside of me that God gave me makes this the hardest decision I've ever had to make.
—Guest Guest234

not sure what to do

I'm about 9 weeks pregnant and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm in my first year at college and the father wants nothing to do with me or the baby (it was a one night stand). I have told my family, however I am not coping and I keep thinking how I have ruined my life. However, I don't think I could go through with an abortion. Adoption is also not an option. I don't know what to do.
—Guest guilty

Right Reason but still hard

I had an abortion last week. I was 16 weeks and 2 days along. I had to have the abortion as my baby had a horrible illness that would have given him a short and sad life. My husband and I know that it was the right thing to do but it is still so hard to deal with. We are young but we know that we would have been really good parents. I find that I am getting really angry at people with trivial problems and parents who treat their children badly. It is not something I ever want to do again and I never wanted to have to do it in the first place.
—Guest Sarah

Debating my 3rd abortion

I had my first abortion when I was 21. My boyfriend at the time was having another baby with someone else who was further along. I decided that I didn't want my baby to have to deal with questions of why he/she had a sibling the same age that wasn't my child. I should have left but decided to stay with him. I got pregnant six months later. I miscarried around the time the other woman delivered. We found out the other baby wasn't even his. We tried to make the relationship work after all the drama, I got pregnant again when I was 23. The pain of the drama/abortions before was intense and my morning sickness was so bad, I had a surgical abortion. We decided to try to make it work and moved to another city and now I am 10 weeks. I feel the need to have another abortion and just move away to another city. This time my friends and family know. I thought it would be different because I didn't tell them before but I wish I would have just gotten a medical abortion when I found out.
—Guest Andrea

Best thing I ever did...

..well, I'm not trying to imply that minor surgery was fun, or anything. But it was a lot more fun than having an unwanted child would have been. I've never wanted children; there was an odd birth control failure (surprised my doctor). Fortunately there was a safe, easy plan B. And there you go...I HATE it when people kiss up to the right and say that abortion is always a "difficult", "sad" choice. For many of us, who either don't want children or realize the time isn't right,and who don't confuse zygotes with actual children, it's the only choice, the responsible, caring one, and one for which we're very grateful. Obviously I'll never regret it.
—Guest gina

The worse thing I've ever done

I am 26 years old and just recently got an abortion 3 days ago :-( .... I am separated from my husband and we have two beautiful children .... I was not financially stable in any means to raise another baby as a single mom . My soon to be ex husband hardly has anything to do with our children as it is ... It was a quick decision I made one weekend with my best friend .... I was 10 weeks pregnant and had the dnc procedure . It was the worse pain I have ever went through in my entire life !!! Afterwards I feel like a murderer like I was supposed to take care of my baby and love it but I let some stranger dismember it and suck it out until it was no longer living .... Please for the love of god if your thinking of doing this DON'T !!! I made the worst mistake of my life and wish so much I could take it back bit it's too late !! This will haunt me for the rest of my life :-( !!
—Guest Mary may

I will always regret it

I had my abortion when I was 42. There was alot of pressure from my family and my husband to terminate the pregnancy. I am still saddened at the thought of what I did. Still angry at my husband and most times I don't want him to touch me. The abortion was 3 years ago. I don't see this relationship going anywhere. I don't respect my husband for coercing me into aborting. What type of man does that to the women he loves? I see him as a coward now.
—Guest JC

Facing the hardest decision

I am 28 and having an abortion tomorrow. This was a really hard decision for me. I'm 15 weeks and I can feel my little baby move... I even have pictures of him from the ultrasound. During my ultrasound the doctor discovered that my baby is at an increased risk for heart complications, but there is no way to know for sure until the baby is 22 weeks and by then it would be too late to terminate. My baby also has an increased risk for down syndrome. I believe it would be unfair to the baby and my four year old little girl to have a baby with serious ailments such as these. I wanted another baby so bad and there's no way of knowing 100% if the baby actually has a serious problem. I'm so scared! I have no idea what to do!
—Guest Shy

The Worst Feeling In The World

I fell pregnant at 19 years old. I was in no way ready. I had been kicked out of home with no money and only the clothes on my back. I stayed with my boyfriend's cousin who did not support us because we didn't pay to stay. My boyfriend is abusive. He has a severe anger problem and has done things that make me cry just thinking of it. I had the abortion in May 2009. I couldn't handle the emotional pain and guilt. But I feared for myself and the baby because I had no home, and if I went back to my family my dad would have killed me. I can never live it down and I think of it all the time. I fell pregnant again just a few months later. I knew I did not want to go through it again. So I kept it and gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. I cannot be happier. I'm pregnant again. It's only been a few months. I live with my parents and they strictly told me no more. I don't know what to do I feel guilty as ever. I read pro-life comments & feel like a murderer. I don't want to be. :'(
—Guest Guest20

Regret it every day of my life

I regret it every day of my life. I did it because I was a coward and was scared how others including my own family would perceive me. I never had a loving relationship with my mother. I wish I could convince other girls never to do this. A child is a blessing. It will forever haunt me and make me feel sadness even though I have other children. It took away my peace and happiness. I still laugh and smile but it has been many years and I think of it nearly every day. I feel the safest place for your baby should be your womb...where they are warm and protected. To think I let some doctor rip my baby out with a cold sterile instrument makes me feel such sadness. I pray to God that he will forgive me and I pray one day I will be able to see my babies face and finally find peace. If my daughter is ever faced with this I will love and support her and would never want her to consider abortion as an option. It does not solve anything--this world is just so messed up that we think it is ok.
—Guest Amanda

never trust sweet talk from a guy

well my boyfriend and i were having a serious conversation about sexual relasonships and having a baby while i was only 15. He started doing some sweet talk that got to me, i feel for it.He said that no matter what happened between us our baby will always be taken care of and will recive the best from us.He would never let me down or leave me alone with the baby we will have.He would man up and take responciblity like he should do.So now i have fallen for all of that and got peragnant.2 weeks later i tell him about or futher baby and he goes nuts on me and he douthed about him being the father.He starts talking alot of crap that i dident expect.he and mention ABORTION i told him if he was crazy.I would never kill my baby he respnded ur the crazy one for planning to have a baby on your own with out a father and no job or no one to depend on or ask for help cause i wont be here to raise that baby thats not even mine.i started thinking and i relized an]bortion was all i could choose.
—Guest samantha

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