Women who raise boys have the unique opportunity to change the world one male at a time. Moms who raise sons can start from scratch and teach them to be supportive instead of sexist, caring instead of domineering, and faithful instead of philandering. What are the most important things women should be teaching their sons? If there's a husband, boyfriend, or other significant male in your life, what do you wish his mother had taught him while he was growing up? And if you're raising boys, what are you trying to teach them? What's Most Important?
Your spouse is your equal
- In my marriage, I'm not an equal just a woman and that too from India so I have no say! and I'm remined of that everyday, any chance my husband gets! Its very frustrating and makes me so sad. I feel I should be, I pay the bills 50-50. My son hopefully will learn not to be like his father who learnt this from his father. I intend to break this cycle and I hope to fight to instill this value in my son from the get go so his wife never feels like it's a curse being a woman sometimes! She is an equal in all respects.
- —Guest Frustratedindianwife
What Moms should teach their sons
- From a very young age, I loved, cared for and treated my 3 sons with love, respect and patience...and I taught them honesty. That's what they've seen, felt and experienced for the past 17 year to 24 years. They return to me 'love', 'respect' 'care' & 'honesty' by being more appreciative and also hardworking sons! I believe love and respect...begets love...respect...so on.
- —Guest Suzy
Taking "No" for an Answer
- There are many things that are important for parents to teach their sons, but in my opinion, the most important skill they (as well as daughters) should learn is being able to take "no" for an answer. Too many girls and women have been stalked, beaten, raped, and even killed because the men involved (whether they were boyfriends, husbands, acquaintances, co-workers, or exes) refuse to take "no" for an answer. As Maddie Hayes said on an episode of "Moonlighting" when describing a man who stalked her, he took away her "no." Or take Susie Salmon in "The Lovely Bones." Her life is cut short at 14 because George Harvey, her killer, takes away her "no." In both cases, as well as countless others, the men refused to hear their "nos." Men and boys: when women and girls say "no," they mean "no," not "yes," not "maybe," but NO. No means no. Take our "nos" seriously.
- —vero2244
What we did teach our sons
- I come from a large family where my father told my brothers to go out and fool around with anyone they wanted, but when the time came to get married, they'd only have 1 person to fool around with. I was only 12 at the time and was totally appalled. I made a conscious decision that if I ever had children I would teach them to respect themselves and to cherish woman. My husband was an only child. His father left him and his mother broke and with nothing. His mom was a very poor judge of character in men, and invariably would bring a home a slug. Sometimes she'd bring home a really good guy but that wouldn't last long and she'd run him off. So as you can see my husband and I had a front row seat to see how not to treat women. So when we were blessed with four sons we took extra pains to teach our them to first respect themselves and treat a lady like a lady until she proved to you she was unworthy. Happily all four are married and treat their wives and mom with love and respect.
- —Guest Debi
the same thing they teach daughters
- The most important thing moms can teach their children, whether male or female, is to treat others the way they want to be treated themselves.
- —Guest Edith
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
- Aretha said it best. RESPECT. I'm talking about respect for your partner, whether it's your wife, girlfriend, whatever. I had a friend with three sons whose husband traveled constantly in his job. She knew that before they married, he juggled multiple relationships with other women in the cities he regularly visited. But once they married, she truly believed he ended them all. I'm not sure whether that happened, but by the time the third son was born, she discovered he was cheating on her. He said he'd change but he didn't, and he ended up leaving her with the three boys. She told me that the most important lesson she wanted to teach her sons was to respect women, to be faithful to them, to understand that love won't always be exciting, but that it'd sustain them through the dark days. If those boys learned respect, it was because of all she went through. They witnessed it first-hand, Her love sustained them when Dad walked out of their lives. Maybe that scumbag was the lesson.
- —Guest Yolanda
