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Readers Respond: Cheating Husband, Cheating Boyfriend - What Did You Do About It?

Responses: 287

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From the article: Why Do Men Cheat?
Have a cheating husband or cheating boyfriend? You're not alone. It's estimated that 50% of married men will cheat on their wives. Talk about your experiences and share advice and wisdom with other women about what to do and what not to do.

27 years for what

Been married 24 years together 27. 1 month ago he says I love you but I'm not in love with you. He doesn't think I should be surprised or upset and then tells me he has feelings for another woman. Yesterday he tells me that he is not sure if he wants to take it to the next level with her. I still love him. Tonight he thinks I'm sleeping, comes to bed and starts texting her.. I see him text "I love you" And when confronted, he lies. I have 3 dtrs. They love their dad dearly. I love him too but have to have more respect for myself. He says he's not sure what he wants. He won't talk to me. Have been awake all night. I wrote him a letter. Told him I want him to be happy. I still love him but he needs to make up his mind about what he wants. He needs to move out to do that though. I want him to be happy but my heart is broken. I don't deserve this. I haven't been the perfect wife but I have been true. I just want my life back!! But I know that is not ever going to happen. What do I do!
—shannon1234tr

Best friends a little too close

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now we have had our share of fights but things were finaly getting into place we moved in together had a beautiful appartment. He is very anal about deadlines so he wants my half of the rent 5 days in advance one night he keep bugging me about it and i told him id give it to the landlord myself so he ddin't have to worry about it. He got so upset just started a rant on and on. He then told me hes been cheating on me with his best friend and it was the best sex hes ever had and he could have anybody he wants so i should be lucky to have him. Hes has apologized many times since then and says hed do anything to get me back even never talk to his best friend again. I have no idea what to do...
—Guest hurt

All I can do is Cry

My husband works at the high school. We have 2 kids and my son is a freshmen. My son told me that he has seen his father with other women. At least three. He said that he has seen the other women touching his chest. Wiping things off his face and getting too close for comfort. I found out by one of my friends that he was having sex with one of thise women. That night I went to my parents house and cried. I loved him too much to think about that, because ithad been a while since we had sex. He kept moving away from me so one night I made my move. That night we had sex and after that I never heard my son or my friends say anything about another women
—Guest Annonymous

please listen

My boyfriend and i were goimg out for a year now. I went to go give him his wallet which he had left at my house when he came over yesterday and i saw him out the window of a kareoke bar thing, he was sitting at a table next to a girl and then he leaned over and kissed her. I broke then and there but then i realized that he was doing me a favour. If he cheats on you that means he was never meant for you in the first place. If a guy really loves you then he wouldnt do that to you. There is a guy out there somewhere who is perfect for you. Anyway, it was a kareoke bar. And i was really broken. I wanted revenge. I sneaked in to the bar And sang 'beggin on your knees'by Victoria justice ( yes i know it sounds childish.) Right in front of him. I also snuck a kareoke few snowballs in his bag when i cam in.( it
—Guest iknowwhaturgoingthru

The hotel infidelity

So I've been of and on with this guy for over 6 months now and recently he seemed very committed to fixing things between us, I have never felt happier. He even suggested he get a hotel room which we did and it was an amazing night. However, the next day all he texted me was "good morning " which was usual but then he stopped replying to my calls and texts... I freaked out and told my friend and she said dont worry his probably busy.. And it's crazy how things happen but later that day my friend went to our local university's basketball game and saw him there with ANOTHER GIRL! I was beyond mad then later decided to call the hotel we had stayed at since we had booked it for 2 nights and asked to speak to him... Then the guy response" sorry him and his guest have the do not disturb sign" ... I texted him telling the heck off! I have never felt so used or heart broken I really hope this was enough for me to stop going back to him
—Guest rose

7 years worth of lies

I was with my boyfriend for 7 years, 2 years were long distance then when his mom lost her house he moved to Sc to live with me. He had no car or job but I helped him get both. I found a number about 3 months after he moved in with me but I brushed it off. I had a baby a year after he moved in and noticed he changed. Found out he would hang out with other women but when confronted lied got mad and left me. He would come back home and we made up. He bought a house and told me it was mine, I paid basically all bills made more money. We started sleeping in separate rooms due to baby. We argued a lot but he would always come back and say he loved me. Finally I found out he was sleeping with multiple women i moved out. He is now saying he wants to work things out and loves me. I had a reading done and was told that he loves me but I made it too easy for him. He says I have his heart but he doesn't show it. If not for me he would not be where he is today. I did everything for him. Men suck
—Guest SClove

caught out

The day we got married,3 hours later he was flirting with my friend putting icy water on her.On my honeymoon, he met up with a chick and left me in the hotel with the kids.He met her on ice,she knew it was out honeymoon. It stopped for a while, I think it did. It started up again to find out he was getting a mail order bride and she was going to move in with us,he was going to marry her and we all live together in the house,it turns out she was a scam and he nearly arrested,I helped save him.It stopped again.It has started up again, this time it, he not only flirts and talks crap to these chicks around the world. He brags about his job and his pay,and I have found a lot of conversations where he tells them they are hot and sexy and dirty things he wants to do with them, but we can not make love because he has a medical condition.I even found out he has rang a couple of them on the phone, he sends text messages to them,he web cams to them when I am at work,even sent them money.It hurts
—ourloveshack

Caught Red Handed.

I knew this girl, we barely talked and I didn't know much about her. A few months later I started talking to a guy.. He was hurt, lost, and scared due to an emotionally scarring experience so I took him in as my boyfriend. A few months into our relationship he was the happiest person ever.. Then 2 of his friends spent the night. I woke up to a break up text saying he had someone else. Later that day I found out his friends were texting me while he was sleeping. He dumped that girl and got back with me. A few months later on our one year anniversary morning I went to his house to surprise him. His parents let me in and told me to go to his room, I opened the door to see that girl I barely knew, the girl his friends set him up with, his ex before me riding him. As much as I wanted to hurt her and yell at him I bottled it up and left with pride. Now I'm with my new boyfriend who I couldn't be happier with! Ladies, they're not meant for you. He's waiting for you to find him
—Guest Moved On

Cheating Fiancé

I'm a 38yr old woman in a 10 year relationship with my fiancé. Last Wednesday 11/30/2012 I found a secret cell phone. I took it to the bathroom and went thru it!! Oh my god!! I found out my fiancé was having a 4 month long affair with an employee of his.. He had been telling her he loved her and she loved him.. I was floored.. My one and only love that I had dedicated my entire life to was sleeping with another woman. Not just her though. He had also has sex with a seperate woman and given her oral sex. I'm lost in this.. I close my eyes and I see them sweaty pumping kissing licking each other!!! Him pulling out his penis and putting it in her!! I can't stop these images!!! I trusted him 100% I thought we had the best relationship.. I was WRONG.. I'm choosing to stay with him. He cries and swears he don't even know how he did it. That it got outta hand and he don't ever wanna see me go thru anything like this again. I love him!! And I want to forgive him. HOW?? Can I move on with him??
—Guest Kim

he ruined my life

my ex dumped me with an sms, i loved him with all of my heart, even now after 10 months of separation, i still miss him and still love him, one day i called him, he said i must call him at night shift, then i sended him an sms asking whether i must call him, he said he was tired he went to gym so he is very tired, the next day 05:45 the time i know he was showering, his firlfriend called me to back off and leave them alone, he had no clue that she called, i told him, and asked him why he lied to me that he was tired, he never answered me, to him it was like he doesnt know her he is supprised she called me, she was the reason she dumped me.
—Guest miserable

Confused

I have been married for 1 year and been with my husband for 3. We have 2 kids together. I found out he was cheating wit someone I knew and when I confronted him about him it of course he lied, Til this day he he still cheating on me with the girl, this girl has picked him up from our house and my daughter has spent the night at her house. I want to pack my kids and leave but I love him so much and I dnt want to make it easier for him to just go and be with her, I just want the pain to go away. i just dnt no what to do
—blessedwit3

cheating spouse

My husband cheated on me,I found out by going through his computer and saw emails I confronted him and he told me nothing happened. After a long time. I forgave him but never forgot,within two months everything started again but with different woman actually its more than one woman, I don't know what to do now,we have three small kids
—Guest boniwe

depression,addiction n infidelity!!!

Been wid him for 10 yrs...married for 4 yrs...hav a baby girl...i knew he was depressed bcoz of his mother,who never understood he developed it at 17...but dealt wid it..he lost his younger brother(suicide) n started smokin pot n got more depressed,but I dealt wid tht too...tried to take him to a doc n stop him frm drugs but he wasnt listenin.....instead he started havin an emotional affair...just sms but I was goin thru a miscarriage just then...life seemed to hav stopped rite there...he tried to kill himself bcoz he cudnt face tht he'd betrayed me....i didnt even get da scope to b angry at him coz was afraid he wud try to kill himself again...then he tried quitting pot n da withdrawal made him crazy...i kept suppressin my feeling bcoz I love him n dont want to lose him...finally he agreed to get treatment n detox n is improvin but end of da day i'm lookin after him. coz he has no one else...itz not ez to deal wid all of dis...deep down he loves me I knw it..but it still hurts alooot!
—Guest heart broken but helpless

Im done

I know what u going though I been married for 48 years and he cheated on me for ten years and I just found out. I didn't even have a clue.so I know exactly what you r feeling. I take one day at a time. Pray look for someone who could talk positive to you and ease your mine..... Cry cry hard let it out. The more u suppress the worst u feel...... Scream and try to stay away from him..... Good luck and bless you.
—Guest Maudie

From Experience

I've been cheated on and lied for for the past year and a half from everything from " I never had sex with a girl with an STD" to " I never had sex with that one girl you know" to " I'm not talk to other girls" to " I'm not hooking up with other girls". I found out he had been with a girl with an STD, I had to get tested twice, and a girl I knew from around town, I found out he had been being set up with various really skanky looking girls by his " swinger" friend for over 3 months of our relationship.. including a date with one of them a couple days before before my birthday. He lied to me the entire time, even when the evidence was in black and white! It hurts like hell, I've been balling my eyes out. But ladies please learn from this. 1. If they have a history of lying, they will ALWAYS lie 2. They will not change 3. Someone that does that does not love you, so why waste your time 4. Don't have revenge sex or go crazy, it's not worth one more tear 5. Leave the sooner the better
—Guest Sound Advice

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