1. News & Issues

Readers Respond: Cheating Husband, Cheating Boyfriend - What Did You Do About It?

Responses: 287

By

trust issues and a cheating past

My boyfriend of 16 months, I believe, is cheating on me. I have not caught him in the act because he is very passive-aggressive and hides it well. When we first met, he was still with an ex, but told me he was single, i found this out through her texting me a few months ago. About two months ago, he began texting/calling another girl at all hours of the night, in private, but he swore she was just an old friends. Recently, I broke up with him because he stayed out all night 8 times in a month. I also want to point out that he constantly accuses ME of cheating and I dont even talk to other men. Since I kicked him out, we have been working out our differences, got back together. I recently found several calls/texts to a strange number of another girl on his bill, who he said was his guy friend, lets call him Joe. I reverse looked it up, it was registered to a woman, and when I called and asked for Joe, she said wrong number! He swares still its Joes phone. Am I an idiot? He must think so
—Guest confused

bleh boyfriends

i was with this guy for 8 months and he meant everything to me and i loved him with everything i had to give. i never thought of him cheating but little did i know he was doing it throughout the whole relationship and it really hurt me when i found out. he went back into lock up and that's when he came clear about everything. that was in 2009, and we broke up middle of 2010. i still love him and miss him
—Guest teresee

For once...

...I am putting myself 1st! I gave him everything...he said I could trust him. That it was all in my head...then his pocket answered his phone and I listened to him cheat for over an hour (I couldnt make myself hang up). He kept telling me he loved me while still hanging out with her. Then when I didnt get over it quickly he pointed out that I caused it. We have been in a long distance relationship from the beginning, seeing each other when ever possilbe...I hadnt even been gone 2 weeks. Now he says he can be true to me...that im sexy and he loves me and nothing happend...I tried to be open to trying it again. But i cant. I dont want to be one of those people who will accept this kind of thing just to avoid being alone. For once...I know what im worth and I as much as I love him...things will never be the same...ever! And no matter what part I played in our relationship failure...I DIDNT CHEAT or LIE...he did... Stevie
—Guest Gettingoveryou

He cheated on me with my sister

We'd been in a serious relationship for about 2 years, and I really thought that it was going somewhere. Until the night I came home to my beautiful, cheerleading sister and him in bed. He didn't even show remorse but called me 'A stupid bitch that was too 'emo' for him.' He broke my heart.
—Guest Broken

Letting go

I very much understand the hurt and pain after being cheated.. I have learned that if i dont let go of this attachment then that attachment becomes the goal. IE I look for cheaters. Let it go. Just my opinion.
—Guest Keith

i am a little paranoid

my boyfriend hasn't full blown cheated on me physically but mentally he has..he admitted to me that he had a crush on another girl and even thought about being with her..then he started texting his ex and they began talking about sex..when i found it in his phone and confronted him about it he acted like he didn't know what i was talking about and deleted all of text out of phone!!!!!!! after those inccidents and a few more i don't think that i can trust him and i am very paranoid that he will cheat on me (physically) very very soon {we've been together for 2 years, i am 20 and he is 26}
—Guest hunterbaby

I trusted him

I was dating a guy for 5 months and things couldn't have been better. He held me, loved me and bought me anything I wanted. The only problem was he was extremely jealous all the time and that caused problems. 2 days after a huge fight he called apologizing and I forgave him, he spent the night. I had a weird feeling so I looked through he's phone and sure enough I saw texts from his other gf. I kicked him out right away. I've talked to him quite a few times since. I need to be strong and ignore him. It hurts so much.
—Guest Confused Miles

cheating

i almost left my husband when i found in his text that he almost had sex with a pregnant girl and here i am pregnant with are 3rd i couldn't believe he was going to cheat on me with someone else that was pregnant and lucky she turn him down cause he was married should i have left even tho they didn't go through with it.idk cause here i am now months later and i had the baby and we can't do anything so im sitting here freaking out that he is going to cheat on me cause i can't give him any.
—Guest hurting

Men cheat because of inner insecurity

Not all men cheat. But those who do have a low moral standards, doesnt have a sense of commitment, loyalty and self control needed to turn away from temptations.
—Guest Margaret

is he cheating?

Stupidly I've been the other woman for almost 18 months. I didn't know about this until 2 weeks ago that he was married and had 2 children. We lived together and he was only home during the day because he told me he worked nights and I believed him because he drives a taxi. I only found out about his wife and kids because his brother beat me up then a few days later I seen his brother again and he explained that his wife was his best friend and they have 2 children and his daughter is disabled. He has split with his wife now but only sees me from 7 till 11 pm we done have sex anymore because of his illness or so he tells me. Is he cheating on me? Bearing in Ming he's been married 14 year and got away with being unfaithful for that long. How do I know without confronting him?
—Guest becca

What!!! GUEST DECENT GUY

Guest decent guy. Grow up. Do you think you are going to pick up in here? I've got honest advice for you women. Guys need sex and attention. As soon as you start pushing him away when he tries to cuddle at night and stop giving him sex, know that he is going to see other women as a whole lot sexier. It doesn't matter how special you are, the honey moon period will wear off. As for Decent guy, he is probably single because he is a creepy try hard who lies to vulnerable girls.
—Guest Tony

I should have seen it.

After almost two years, he finally confessed how unfaithful he has been. But not before getting me to sign a 12 month lease with him. And what's worse- I had to confront him first. He never would have told me that he slept with two women and has been sexting numerous girls for the entire duration of our "relationship". I'm usually so insightful... How could I miss this one?
—Guest Naive

A ring don't mean he's yours

So my fiance cheated on me, I went through his phone and found it.. After 5 years of dating and being engaged I thought this was for real. He told me he didn't feel I loved him, and I deserved to be cheated on.. I feel like he hates every second around me, but begged me when I left. What should I do?
—Guest Sadgirl

spite,

I have been on and off with my boyfriend for now the past 8 months, and just before we were reaching our 7 months, he cheated on me, and he went to youth. the thing is, at this time, we were only together, because we were just unsure of things. but that is his excuse ofr cheating on me. "that we were not together" and he will hold it to me, to this day, that it doesnt count, but we were trying to work out our differences. The thing is he didnt tell me, because when he arrived back from youth i phoned him and everything was 'alright', then it came to one of my friends who decided that they would tell me, after i read this. i phoned him and he kept putting down, and never spoke. finally i think he grew enough courage and answered the phone, and said those exact words to me.. after a few days i found out he cheated on me again, with the same doll. on valentines day. and we were dating then. sounds crazy. all in all i told him i forgave him, and we are going on to 9 months.
—Guest Guestc

DISTROYED

IS THERE REALLY GOOD MEN OUT THERE THAT DONT WANT TO CHEAT. MY EX HUSBAND IS LIVING WITH OUR FEMALE FRIEND, BOTH OF THEM DONT WANT TO ADMIT WHAT THEY DID? AM I CRAZY? I SAW HIS EYES, HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER. AND HE MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT WHEN HE IS THE GUILTY ONE. WHY IS HE SO HAPPY NOW? I TRIED MY BEST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY AND TO CHANGE MY LIFE TO SUIT HIM. GOD, WHY DID HE HURT ME SO MUCH?
—Guest DISTROYED

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.