What's the problem?
- Okay, so you are 40 years of age or over; you are bored to hell with your life; you need to have some great fun and sex with no strings attached; and so you attract males in their 20s and upwards. So why is it an issue for some people that you are getting it on with younger males if: a) it is consensual and b) you are having great sex? I say go for it and have the time of your life...it's a free world out there! Live, love, laugh and play hard -- we are only on this planet for a short time!!!
- —Guest Classy Women
Don't Knock It Until You've Tried It
- I dated a lot in my youth, older never younger! At 22 I was married to a 28 yr old for 16 yrs. My second 5 yr marriage at 38 was to a 41 yr old. A friend told me to get out because guys weren't going to knock on my door. Well, one did. A 35 yr. old divorced neighbor helped me plant bushes and pursued 50 yr. old me. We dated 9 mos. I then had a romance with a guy 2 yrs. older. He told me, during sex, that he couldn't keep up with me! At 55 a workplace romance evolved with a man who was kind, helpful and funny! I knew he was younger,but we had chemistry. His beard made him look 35. After we became intimate, I was shocked to learn I was 30 yrs older! For 9 mos. we cooked, danced & laughed together. It lasted as long as it was meant to. I refused to see him 1 yr later when he called despite being the most simple, authentic, least stressful relationship I've had. Incredible sex! Older women younger men sexually make more sense than vice versa. We are not sluts. I've been celibate for 8 yrs.
- —Guest ginasophia21
Age difference is nothing
- Age is just a number by the way. What matters is the love between the two of you. Let them call you whatever they may. Eventually they will get tired.
- —Guest email@example.com
No one has the right to judge
- After reading so much negativity in these responses it's sad that so many seem to have so much time on their hands to call women they know or don't know "lil' sluts" or to suggest that they wake up etc etc... all because they've got younger men and they themselves are older. Maybe you all need to look in your mirrors and question yourselves. *IF* your own partners didn't think you were attractive but a younger did, would *YOU* consider your choices in that very world? Or maybe you have some fantasies of doing it with younger men. It's sort of like masturbation. You're a liar if you say, "No, I don't masturbate and you're an idiot if you admit it. Get over yourselves. No one is perfect in this world, just as no one has a right to tell anyone who they ought see or not...and if you do, you're shallow.
- —Guest Sass
He begged me to meet him
- I'm 39 and my sexy man is just 20. We love each other, and each time I have tried to break it off, saying he should be with a younger woman, he would not have none of it. He is just not attracted to younger women. He says they are too childish, and instead of fancying his mother's friend's daughter he fancied his mother's friend...that's when he knew he preferrred mature women! I won't deny what he feels for me. Why should I? I have dated a man 24 years older than myself previously, which was a happy relationship until he ended it saying that I was too young and he was getting pressure from his son who was my age. We both cried that day and I would have still been with him was it not for people interfering and complaining about the age thing. what I have now is the opposite, and I did try to back off from it because of the age thing but we couldn't help it, I was 36 he was 18... still going strong over 2 years now. If my ex had done that we would have still been together.
- —Guest miss lucky
Don't put restrictions on me
- My husband left me for a woman 6 years younger and that is acceptable, but if I date a 38 year old, that is unacceptable. Hello...I don't look 47, and what there is to pick from is not to my liking; I need high energy. If I run into someone 45 to 50 that fits my criteria, then I'll go for it, but I shouldn't be limited in my future selections in society's eyes. Frankly, who cares? I have turned the heads of 31 year olds, but that doesn't mean that I screwed them. What I did as a teenager and young adult, has nothing to do with my current behavior. Did what I wanted then, do what I want now. 28 years of marriage and never once been unfaithful. It's my turn, baby.
- —Guest tigerlady
- A very interesting thing, but even though I am over 40, I don´t want a young guy...
- —Guest Mylena
cougar and proud
- I'm 42, and when my husband of 10 years left me for a younger women I thought I'd try it myself. My new partner is 29, and he is the most loving, thoughtful and respectful man I have ever met! We've been together just over 3 years and are loving every minute of it...
- —Guest sexkytten
Life doesn't end after 60
- It's sad that we, as a society must define maturity by age. Certainly developmental stages are met and achieved, but at some point age becomes irrelevant. Speaking for many women over 60, life does NOT come to a screeching halt! On the contrary, it becomes more enjoyable. It is a time where a woman can enjoy relationships without old baggage. We have worked, been mothers, wives, lovers, intellectuals, and quite fun to be with. Why question a good thing? My own experiences have taught me that men do indeed get "older" faster. Couches, TV, and beer seem to take over. I for one will embrace the relationship possibilities of men within a ten-year "youth" factor. Youth is a state of mind, and if you are one of the fortunate ones, your physical attributes remain quite intact. I, for one, can still see my feet when I look down. I think women in general take better care of themselves and remain vital, sensitive, and engaged.
- —Guest 62and regressing
My cougar girlfriend was my best
- Both of us had interesting jobs that demanded too much of our lives. She was a divorced dr. in her early 50's. I was a free spirited mid 30's, responsible yet bold in seeking enrichment of experiences. Never happy with younger or women my own age. Seemed like there was stress in those relationships. When I met her she was home to me because she enjoyed all I had, and she liberated me in a way no women up to my age could. It's not for everyone. I must say I never did fit into the type of staged life everyone around me seemed to be distracted with. She freed me from it, knowing there was only our time we could get, as I enjoyed what she accomplished. And I was a man living for deep feelings and exploring time in the environment when I could escape work. We became part of each other's landscape, until we both had to follow our work. I would have followed her if she asked, but knowing my work was important to me, she never did. She was the best for me still 12 years gone.
- —Guest -mr.missingher
Women's Sexual Peak
- There is some evidence that women's sexual peak comes after menopause because of decreased estrogen and increased testosterone. Also, post-menopausal women don't have to worry about getting pregnant and finding a man to help raise their children. In contrast, men hit their sexual peak around 18. That's the age when they can have sex several times in a day. As they get older, it gets harder for them to perform as often. So it makes perfect sense that women at their sexual peak would be attracted to men at their sexual peak.
- —Guest Lara
Bigoted, ill-informed prejudice
- I'm stunned by the negative tone of this article and the ridiculously ignorant and bile-filled prejudice being spouted here. I'm 38 and have been seeing a 23 year old for nearly a year now. It's an honest, loving, trusting relationship. The age difference isn't just immaterial, it's an asset. I love his energy, enthusiasm and complete lack of emotional baggage which means he can love openly and wholeheartedly. He loves my lack of insecurities and the fact that I love his common sense and decency that most women his age are too young to appreciate. We have broadened each other's horizons with our different perspectives and interests and friends. Does this make me a cougar? I don't know. I only came across the term yesterday. I do know that it makes me happy. So we'll just get on with loving each other while you spite-filled judgmental people out there wallow in your own righteousness. Seriously. Get over yourselves.
- —Guest UK Cougar
to all the "neg" responders
- Here's a thought for all those women and men out there, who think that a relationship is all about "sex". Not all couples are looking for only sex...for the most part people are looking for a partner, someone with mutual chemistry, the same interests and goals, someone to be comfortable with and to share a future with. I say to you negative people, don't be so judgmental. Try this with your present partner... Look into each other's eyes and if you can see the "child" in each other and still adore that person, you will be so blessed....because there is no boundaries of age, but only affection you share for each other. People enter and exit into your life everyday...if you "discount" a good feeling from a person because of their age, older or younger, then you may have possibly missed out on the best mate of your life...I am 58, and my partner of two years is 38. We have a mutual caring relationship and plan to continue. I am his "yin" he is my "yang". I am not a "predator"
- —Guest good chi
It's not always what you think?
- I can't believe half of what I'm reading. I am 57, my husband is 30. Contrary to what Chantel says, I was NOT the unfaithful one in my marriage. My ex had three women on the side, and when I confronted him, he said he would change! Ha! I don't think so. My current husband is 30, and I did NOT go looking for him, in fact he chased me until he got me. I had no intention of remarrying but I am certainly glad I did. The younger women on here sound so pissed off, but it sounds like jealousy. Are they jealous because we have the audacity to be enjoying our lives, or because they can't get anyone for themselves? I have never been treated so well in my life as I am now, and I wouldn't change my loving husband ever. He has so much respect for me, it's wonderful, just as I do for him.
- —Guest Leah
Unsure about this...
- I want to say that there are "good" and "bad" cougar women out there. I am not talking about "good" or "bad" morals, but how the person is "carrying" this word around. I can't really explain it (for example: you can tell a good christian by their behaviors and moral standards vs a bad christian by their behaviors and moral standards). I have to say I do not like the idea of 'cougar women' because it comes with a negative connotation al ot of times. However, I do respect good and mature cougar women. I am unsure about the immature cougar women (parties all the time with bad behaviors). What I do hate is that "statistics" says cougar women are "mature". I hate it, and it is NOT true all the time. I do have one question though: if you believe that it is chemistry that pulls you two together, then wouldn't it be better for you to have the BETTER chemistry with the person you are going to marry? (This question is mostly refers to young men who know they are going to marry someone younger).