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Readers Respond: Cougar - Positive or Negative Image of Women and Female Sexuality?

Responses: 280

By

Whats there to loose/

the main thing that connected this two peitras is love. who cares about the age gap? mh neave dated and re still dating younger women. who woldun't want to wake up next ot some fresh blood? big ups tooc ugar crazing for all I see. no one is taking the other rofa ride guys. do what youeh rart desires and have fun.......
—Guest lesshh

A Happy Cougar

I am a widow, 71 years young, in love with a man who is 40. He also loves me. No, he is not in this relationship for the material things as I do not have much. We have fun together no matter what we are doing and the sex (he says we do not have sex but "he makes love to me") is fantastic. Most of my friends are happy for me as are 3 of my 4 children. The daughter who is not accepting of our relsationship, I believe is jealous. She has had 2 bad marriages and says she wants no more to do with any man. I'm sad for her. My lover has given me an engagement ring and wants us to be married. We've talked about the possibility of me becoming a burden to him but he claims he will always love and take care of me no matter what. He 's also quick to point out that it could be me that has to take care of him... that life is uncertain.
—Guest Callie

Excuse me?

[quote from OP] When an older woman is involved with a younger man, she's often labeled a 'cougar.' Does the cougar image promote a positive or negative view of women and sexuality? Or is this another example of gender bias, since no equivalent term for males who date younger females exists?[/quote] ChiMo (child molester) booster-seaters, pee-do (pedophile), heavy-Peder, R kelly... Men have waaaaay more nicknames than women. were just too polite to say them in your presence (at least in my circle) Ive got more but they get worse from there. and this is a public forum
—Guest Dragon

Who cares. Grow up

Ok folks. I'm 75 years old and have been married 3 times. My first husband was 20 years older than me. I was straight out of college and fell in love with my professor. I know, age old story. He died of a heart attack when my oldest son was 10. I have 3 children. My second husband was a boy I grew up with who had stayed single until he was over 30. Back in those days, that was considered old to get married. I'm from New York. Anyway, he ended up coming out to me as gay. After almost 40 years of marriage. So then, I found myself alone at 65. What's a woman to do? Well, guess what? Im not dead, and never was. I met a WONDERFUL 45 year old man, and we are STILL married 10 years later. I admit, hes getting a little old for me. HA HA. But we are in LOVE and 20 years difference. If I did it at 65, and here I am 75 and telling my story, you gals are younger, and sure as heck better looking, Im sure. WHY not? Whoever has a problem with it, is just jealous and has low self esteem. Life is short.
—Guest Claire75yrs old

AGE is just a number

WOW, I'm 38 going on 39, can pass for 25, and would certainly date AND marry a younger man. I am divorced, and my first husband was 11 years older. He was NOT MATURE. Look at the person, NOT the age. If I meet someone 21, 25 or 35 it doesn't matter. As long as I like him. And if I'm 50 and he's 30...so what. It has never mattered much to men, so why should it matter for women. Its a DOUBLE standard. We need the same freedoms as men. Love shouldn't be a fence, where you are afraid to "cross over." It should be an open field where you are FREE to run into each other's arms.
—Guest misty

Can't believe the hostility

Wow! Who are these people who know everyone's sexual history, real motives, and the perfect age match for everybody in the world? When I was still at university, older men would ask me out. Younger men then would have been illegal, so not an issue then LOL. Now that I am a little older, I see my friends in different relationships and age is seldom the factor in what works or does not. My partner is my age, but just because do not want to date a twenty year old man I don't see why I should care if a forty or fifty year old woman does. If a lady is in her fifties, sixties, whatever and looks good and feels good about herself, I think that is great! I don't feel jealous or resentful. And if as some younger men just use older women for sex, are ashamed of the relationship, and want a younger marriage partner to have children, what about the ones who get married? Not everyone wants children - that's why some younger women I know are with older men!
—Guest liveandletlive

So tired of social standards.

I'm dating a man who's only 3 years younger than I am, we're both in our twenties, we've known eachother for a long time and love each other VERY, very much. A man my age could date a woman/girl in her teens and no one would bat an eyelash, yet I get absolutely ridiculed and teased with,"OH, YOU CRADLE ROBBER, YOU!". THREE years--that's such a nominal difference. Not to mention, why I heck would I want to date a man in his late 20s or early 30s when I know all I'll get is harassed to settle down and pump out babies.
—Guest Annoyed

so?

It can work well. My wife died last July after a marriage of 33 years. She was 20 years older than me.
—Guest david

Just the thought

Just finding out my boyfriend dated a cougar just before me makes me want to pack my bags. I am so disgusted by the both of them. Not sure how I can stop thinking about it.
—Guest Feeling ill

Cougars!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FB6x9y76c0 You might like this Cougar Woman sneak peek.
—Guest CougarWoman

19 year old pursues cougar

I am 46. I too am being pursued by a 19 year old. I never indicated to him I was interested. He is fairly attractive. He tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I have never been in this type of relationship before. What I see is a young opportunist looking for a free ride. Even after being single for the past 12 years I cannot see myself in this situation. I am not sure how I should handle this situation. I have been involved with a man that was nine years younger several years back and he wanted a free ride. He tried spending my money on other woman while I worked so I am not eager to pursue him
—georgered

Law of God and Law of Humanity

so simple , in the law of God and Law of Human , you can not find there that age should be a hindrance in Love . we are talking here of persons that are in love , compatibility and happiness that they cant find in others?
—ANIKRYS

Law of God and Law of Humanity

So simple , in the law of God and Law of Human , you can not find there that age should be a hindrance in Love . So, its clear , age does not matter ! if you really LOVE each other wihout stepping in one shoes ...go for it !!
—ANIKRYS

10 years cougar

I'm also dating a man 10 years my junior, I'm afraid I'm really starting to develop some serious feelings for him. We are very happy but I worry about people a lot, so much that we don't even do anything in the public eye. I need to get some confidence.
—Guest tboz

Wow

I am married to the man who is 16 years older and we have two wonderfull boys. The fact is that when woman is young and more mature it's very hard to find a man on same intelectual level. I am not sure if I am crazy or my husband pervert according to some of you but I think that relationships are about two people and the others who are not part of it should stay out and not judge. You never see the truth unless you're in it! By the way calling woman cougar just because she is in relationship with younger man is really disrespectful. I remember someone calling my husband cradle robber and neither one of us liked it. Like I said no one knows what is relationship about but the people who are in it. Why all of the critics go get a life and bark on some other issue.
—Guest RG

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