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Readers Respond: Cougar - Positive or Negative Image of Women and Female Sexuality?

Responses: 230


Ignorance reigns supreme

Im pretty sure it's both ignorance *and* jealousy. I'm not a cougar, I'm single, and only 34, but anyone who thinks a woman at 40 is old and finished can't be out of their teens. There's a reason these women are still acting young and that's because they are. Society would like us to all believe that we're finished at 27, but it's just not so. There are a lot of women today, thanks to modern health care , cosmetic advances, diet, and exercise who are still hot as hell at 40. Even at my age I have a better body than most 20 somethings and I havn't gained a pound since high school. I'm still active, I'm an Equestrian and a Belly dancer, I will most likely remain fit well into my 40s. You want older women to face reality, maybe you should find out what reality is first. Women aren't done at 40 and apparently from some of these posts, not even at 50. If they were, these men wouldn't be attracted to them even for sex, especially not for sex.
—Guest Shad0cat


I myself am a married Cougar. I started preying on younger guys about 6 months ago. I have had several young men, but the one I keep wanting more from is 25 and awesome. For me the younger the better.
—Guest Samatha

What does it matter?!!

What happens between two consenting adults regardless of age or gender is no one's business except the two people involved. In my mid twenties I found myself very attracted to older women. There is something very sexy about an older woman who takes care of herself. No I do not consider myself damaged by my experiences with older women, quite the contrary. I'm now in my mid 40s, married with children. My wife still jokes that she was the cure for my older woman fetish. She is two years younger than me. Bottom line, if two people are attracted to each other and they make each other happy why not, go for it !!!
—Guest oldboytoy


I have been reading your responses to what society is depicting as "The Cougar Syndrome." I am what you might call a cougar, and loving it. I am a very attractive 46 year old woman and my man is 35 years old. We enjoy each other's company intellectually and sexually. I have yet to find a man my age that is not into playing games. The men that are at least 10 years younger are more serious and able to define what they are looking for. I don’t care what society calls me or when some say “find somebody your own age.” Because they are not in my shoes and they couldn’t wear them even if they tried. I love who I am and I am very much in love with my man. Better yet he is in love with me. So who cares what people say, often when people have not experienced nor have nothing good to say about someone, a circumstance, or a thing they tend to lean on the negative. So my advice to them is, don’t be a HATER, try being a CONGRATULATER.
—Guest LADYT3546

Why not?

I did not plan to be a cougar but happened, my ex husband sex relationship was very poor (he is few years younger than me) I found a nice boyfriend 17 years younger than me that knows about foreplay and how really please a woman. Why not be happy with a younger man? anyway is better than be lesbian or gay (every one try think is a normal relation when in reality is not)
—Guest mecougar

What men say...

I work in an office full of men, mostly military. Their definition of a cougar is slightly different. They unanimously define a cougar as an older women THEY think is hot. Demi Moore, Morgan Fairchild, Courtney Cox, Sandra Bullock, Geena Davis. Much less of a woman that prowls on younger men, but an older woman that young men think is hot.
—Guest Angelrem

Viva Cougar Women!

Love is Ageless.....has no limits or limitations, is powerful, and conquers any obstacles. It takes courage and self confidence to walk in on the arm of a younger man, and his character shows his self love and appreciation of an older woman that he has chosen regardless of the difference of age ...Often obviously starts with sexual attraction like in any age however when they both feel their similarities in other aspects is MAGICAL. .....My opinion is that this type of relationships only works for women that feel great about themselves in body mind and spirit..so they transmit this energy to this younger men .... they know they can be with women their own age however they feel absolutely comfortable and proud of loving a "cougar"... I personally love younger men because they have a zest of life, have no hang ups like older man, and are free to express what they feel that matching my personality living the moment which is all we have ..the power of now..So enjoy while it lasts and be thankful.
—Guest bella2nyc2la

cougar-what's the fuss or jealousy??

I love this topic. When is the world going to get over itself? Yes, these are mothers, sisters, aunts, but women still, still sexy at any age! We need to start to get over our mindset and let people be happy. Or can you not stand to see your mom with your best friend? ''I'' find these ladies to be very strong-minded, clear of thought. ''I'' don't want game players. These women ''KNOW WHAT THEY WANT" '& I LOVE IT!!!Haters step back - ladies coming through!!
—Guest cord kreps

Don't be too sure

I'm always taken for late 20s to early 30s and I am in my mid 40s. I take good care of myself, no wrinkles (no plastic surgery either) and a good figure. And I am always hit on by younger men ranging from 8 years younger to 20 years younger. When I am in denial of this at times, because I choose not too see these men hitting on me, my friends are stunned (not in a bad way.) They tease me by saying I am flirty but truthfully they know that is not true & they are just teasing. So don't go thinking that a woman in her 40s is not attractive because there are those out there that are. Not all of us age badly but gracefully. And YES some of us dont have to use plastic surgery either. So shut up you negative people out there! For me... it's something that I am learning to deal with. At times I am uncomfortable with these younger men hitting on me. But then again..they don't usually know that I am in my mid 40s Did you ever just think this is just innocent and not a bad thing?!
—Guest probably a cougar


Am I supposed to take this seriously? Women who claim that every woman who falls in love with a younger man is sick? Women who claim that divorce is always the fault of the woman being promiscuous? I read that the term cougar only applies to older women who want to show off their sexual prowess. So why do women in this topic claim that all older women who love younger men are cougars? I am 61, divorced and therefore single for quite a few years. If I permit myself to fall in love with my soulmate in his 40's, am I suddenly a cougar? I don't think so! Witch hunts are as old as civilization. Stop condemning people.
—Guest Kali

age doesn't make a difference

I hate the term cougar, unless it's applied to the actual cougar in the wild or zoo for that matter...age shouldn't make a difference as long as it is legal... seems like there are alot of double standards here. It's ok for me to date women half their age but no, a woman sure better not... how sad
—Guest hate labels

Cougar Tail

I was hanging out with some of my friends one night after work. This hot looking cougar walked into the door and sat at the bar. One of my friends noticed me checking her out. She took notice too. My friend stepped in and asked her to come sit with me. I wasn't thrilled with the idea but I wasn't going to be rude and push her away. We chatted a while, we left and went to a strip club, and I blew the rest of my money that night on drinks and dances for her. We exchanged numbers and we talked maybe one time after that night. Oh she was a beauty but she was definitely older than she told me. We never had sex. Safest thing to do is keep away from cougars. A lot cheaper and you won't get in trouble.
—Guest Jeff

The cougar

The long term success of the relationship is about compatibility. Age becomes irrelevant. Sexuality is only a part of any relationship and in my case it was the younger man of 17 years pursuing me not the other way around. We have been together for nearly 8 years and our love and devotion to each other is surpassed by none.
—Guest Sharron

What's the problem?

I'm 36 and having a "friends with benefits" relationship with a 19 year old. We both get what we want/need without strings he's learnt a few moves and I feel great! No one's getting hurt so what's the problem? If I was 19 and he was 36 no one would give a hoot!!
—Guest Puma!

I hate the term COUGAR

<< The woman going after her teen son's friends is just a sick individual, not a "cougar," which by the way is the most stupid, degrading term every invented. —Guest Stating the Obvious>> Thank you so much for that!! I am 45 and my HUSBAND is 29. In all my relationships I have ever had, my husband treats me better than any other man has ever treated me. He wanted to get married right away and I told him we had to wait for a year...the day of our one year anniversary we got married....and we were and ARE just as happy or more happy than the year before. We laugh together, clean together, camp together, go everywhere together, argue together....we are no different than any other couple I know right now. I hate being called names just because our age is different (I hear it all the time) ....We are JUST LIKE any other couple. We met at work, became friends and then fell in love and I don't regret one minute of our lives together!! And look forward to many more years! :)

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