1. News & Issues
Send to a Friend via Email
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

Readers Respond: Cougar - Positive or Negative Image of Women and Female Sexuality?

Responses: 280


Never liked girls my age!

I agree with "Sally" and "semi cougar"... Because I desire something you don't doesn't make my taste or choice bad! I've always been and still I'm very much into older women, now! Does that make me a wrong man??? People should be allowed to enjoy their own little differences, as long as it doesn't break any moral and age barriers. I'm still very single and hoping to meet some older woman (call her cougar or not!.. No skin of my nose!!!) and if anyone will like to further tap into what this soul has got to offer, feel free to express yourself, and if you do t like my ways, stick to yours and stop your bothering!
—Guest Louis


I think that cougars are just stupid because they are just wanting to have sex with way younger men. What the heck are they thinking. They shouldn't just have freaking sex with men cause they can. I think they should have sex when they find a guy that is their age not some 15 year old. If they want to have sex do it while you''re young not when you are 58. I think they just had sex a lot when they were young so now they are all used to seeing the boys and stuff. If you are a cougar and you are reading this I hope it knocked some scence into you.
—Guest brittany


If you really love someone age should not matter. But under normal circumstances the notion of "age is just a number" is only true when the age difference is NOT too big. 15-20 years just doesn't seem right! There should be compatibility between the couples. I think that it is better to be with someone around your own age. I'd say for a woman older that the man, 3 years is the limit. and for a man older than the woman up to 8 years. And unlike the common belief that women age faster than men, I think that it is only true when kids are growing up; girls usually (not always) hit puberty earlier than boys do, but by the time they are adults, boys will catch up. Moreover, women have traditionally been into skin care and beauty products more than men have been. In my experience, it seems to me that women actually look younger than their male counterparts around their age. Finally, this whole labeling thing seems like a teenage playing with words activity. Adults don't take it seriousy :)
—Guest Advocator

love is love

I'm 46 very much in lv with a 38 year old guy. We started as friends and 7 years ago we started dating. He's more matured intelligent loving and serious .so cougar or no cougar love is love
—Guest ms me

Damn Sure About It

As a matter of fact, he is the pursuer. Not me. Younger men have always been attracted to me and i finally decided to go for it with this one because of his honesty openness, zest for life, confidence, sensitivity, sense of responsibility; I could go on and on. So what's the big deal? He doesn't have a problem with my age, why should anyone else for that matter. Some people are just too nosy for their own good. Go Cougars!!!
—Guest Sam

Damn Sure About It

I am a 32 year old woman who is having a relationship with a man 12 years my junior. So what?! We are in love and love each other, we both have 2 children-so that's 2 boys and two girls between us. We don't want babies just now. We are compatible in more ways than one. Not to mention the most awesome, sensational, soul sex ever imaginable. He wants to get married now, but we have to wait-legal issues. So yes. I'm damn sure about it. If some time waster wants to watch my life and label me as a cougar-kmt; so what?! I don't give a hoot and neither does he.
—Guest Sam

Consenting Adults

As long as they are both adults, what they do is their own business.However, I do believe that if you have minor children you should be discreet.
—Guest Bibiana


A ten or five years age difference is just that. A twenty year difference be it male or female is ridiculous. You want to get laid. I masturbate to young teens as well. Would I take them out and pursue a relationship? F..k no.
—Guest nobody

Date a Courgar save your money

Cougars are the best I'm 22 dating nothing but women over 35 for the last 2 year , you get sex, money , gifts , and most important you save your own money with you date older women..

Don't label me!

I am in a relationship with a man 13 years my junior. We have been together 6 years and are very happy. I wasn't seeking a younger man; in fact for a while we delayed starting our relationship because we were concerned about the age gap. The point is we fell in love and we are very happy together, our ages have nothing to do with it. Most relationships I have been in have been with older men and I’ve been happy in those relationships as well. I am so fed up with the media and those misguided individuals who insist on calling women who are in a relationship with younger men cougars and the younger men toy boys. I'm not even sure why society feels it’s necessary to label people in this way. In my experience any negativity I've received has been from some younger women who seem to take my dating a younger man as an affront in some way. The point is its nothing to do with anyone else.

My defination of a Cougar

Is a wo(man) [man or woman] who is engaged with another person who is young enough to be their offspring. These 3, 5, 10 years difference are not Cougar. At age of majourity (18 years difference), then you are classified as a Cougar relationship. And it does not relate to women in their 30s or 40s. Any age applies as long as the above criterion are met. Since the average woman start procreating in her 20s, the average age is generally in her 40s to be classified as a Cougar as a 40s woman engaged with a 20s son is generally of a mother - son age.
—Guest Bond007

love is for the living

Its amazing how people judge older women who deserve to love and be loved. Am 36 and married to a 28yr man. I didn't chase him, he chased me and couldn't wait to show me off to his parents! They saw how much he loved me and how close we were they gave us their blessings! If an older woman finds love in the arms of a younger man who finds her amazing, it is a gift! Stop the hate!
—Guest sweet 36

shameful act.

Its a big shame that older women who are expected to be custodians of morality and decency in the society end up devouring the leaders of tomorrow.selfish and wicked act!
—Guest prof

In love, age is a number

Cougars are pitiful? If you saw me and my boyfriend (24 years younger) out in public, you would stop kidding yourself that you are not envious of us, the women who can attract gorgeous young lovers. And. IT IS love.
—Guest OzWoman

lots of uptight ladies out there

I'm 36 and have been married to my husband for 8 years. He's 5 years younger, but I've been accused of being a cougar. We take it as a compliment. I think men, unlike most women who posted previously, use the term as a very sexually attractive women in her later 30's, at least. It's interchangeable with "MILF". To be blunt, my male college friends viewed scoring a gorgeous older woman as the highest prize. They knew then what I learned recently. A women who has been a sweet kitten in bed her entire life turns into a ferocious cougar in her 30's. No, I've NEVER been a slut. I'm just more comfortable with my body and I'm more in tune with my sexual desires. There's also a factor of using what you have before it's gone. I've recently turned my wardrobe back 10 years. I am lucky, I look young enough to pull it off. Funny, I dressed so conservatively back then. As for sex just to have sex and STDs: GO FOR IT LADIES! There is nothing wrong with have safe, protected sex for pleasure.
—Guest sweet sugar blossom

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.