The Situation and Circumstances
i had known this person for years and after having grown up in a dysfunctional home, I did not allow myself to get close to too many people. I am retired US Army and most people call me "crazy" as I have PTSD/MST from Viet-Nam times. Never in the 20 years that I knew this person did I ever believe he was capable of doing any more than changing a radio battery. Every holiday he would visit (always after dark when no one could see him come and go.) We had a generic relationship and I would listen to him talk about himself and after a few hours he would go home. This time was different.
The Aftermath and Post-Rape Trauma
I was so broken and upset at the reality that I had called him my friend. I told him that he had taken more than just something physical. He had betrayed my trust and that I would never be able to restore it. He copped to being suicidal and hid so the law would not punish him; besides I knew no one would believe me but he called me 4 days later threatening suicide. I told his family he was sick and needed to be TDO'd, they wanted to protect him-not me.
- The one thing I have learned is Rape is not about sex but about power and control and demeaning the person. What bothers me now is not what happened because I refuse to be a victim. I am more saddened by the way his family won't talk to me as though it had been my fault when he is the one who came to me and then called me 4 days later to say he was going to kill himself. Sometimes you have to choose your battles if you want to win the war. Not every one is worth the effort. What I do know is that just because someone says they are your friend...NOW...means nothing ...I have a counselor and now I have a dog.