Defining Who You Are
Everyone wants to have an identity. Whether you're a Rhodes Scholar or hold a GED certificate, chances are that you want to find what makes you unique. According to the dictionary, identity is "the difference or character that marks off an individual from the rest of the same kind." Identity can mean a social category defined by membership rules or behaviors or features that a person is proud of. In a nutshell, to understand your identity you must first ask yourself, "Who am I? What will people remember about me when I die?"Some women are satisfied with an identity as homemaker; some find their identity in their hobbies; and others wrap their identity into their profession. Regardless of your choice, having an identity as mom comes with tremendous responsibilities. When you're a mother, life gets busy and time more precious. Keeping yourself happy while managing the household is something you learn to juggle. It's a daunting task. Add work to the mix and you've got less time for yourself to explore and find satisfaction.
Modeling a Fulfilled Life
How does this translate to our sons? First of all, our children learn from us. They look to us for guidance. As mothers of sons, we have the opportunity to model behaviors and lifestyles that will help our sons develop healthy images of mothers. If we strive to lead lives that satisfy the depths of our souls, we'll be satisfied knowing we are living a life not just for our children. In living a life that embraces personal fulfillment, we teach our children to respect others' choices.But it's also important to live a fulfilled life within reason. A woman who has children only to hand them over to caregivers day in and day out so mommy can go to the gym or run errands doesn't quite send the best message to those kids. In fact, why have children? If you're indulging yourself too much, selfishness is not a message you want to teach your child. As with anything, there needs to be a balance. Outside of work, if a mom does a few things she loves that doesn't include the children, such as tennis, running or reading, then they will respect her choices and support her decisions and requests for time, and not resent her for it.
Keeping Your Dreams Alive
We all have life-fulfilling dreams we want to achieve someday but don't have time for right now; so how do we incorporate them into our lives without losing sight of our long-term goals in the day-to-day strugge? It's all about balance, organization, patience and communication.One final note: in the end, boys will try to emulate their fathers. It's important to get dad on the same page so you can work as a team to bring up the best possible son and future father.
