How do women feel about other women who lie? Is there more empathy and understanding, or more of a 'holier than thou' attitude? Does this attitude translate to politics and the presidential campaign?
Based on my study, women understand why they lie and why their female friends and coworkers lie. Yet some lies are dicey and unsettling, and will elicit tacit approval at best, depending on the nature of the lie, and can also be too disturbing to accept. In these cases, women understand the need to lie but might still find this is taking it too far. For example, if the lie and secret hurt another person or are harming the woman who tells the lie, then there is no benefit.
Based on my anecdotal, qualitative research, some women were upset by Hillary Clinton's Bosnia event and upset with Elizabeth Edwards' knowledge of her husband's affair.
What kind of lie is acceptable, and what kind of lie goes beyond the pale for a female politician?
Because the mixed messages for women in our society are so much a fabric of their lives, it's complicated.
On the one hand, the common wisdom is that politicians (mostly men by definition in the U.S.) lie and have secrets. On the other hand, women, in all walks of life, according to my research, use the lie and secret as a coping mechanism and do it more cleverly than do men. Yet women in the public eye are so scrutinized by women and men alike (remember Hillary's campaign?) and held to a higher standard, easily criticized and faulted.
So, ironically, despite that women have 'used' a lie to get through, when it comes to politics, the media holds up female lies as separate from male lies. And many women respond, thinking a woman in what is traditionally a male arena, must do the 'right' thing (although men don't do it and they've set the precedent).
Don't most of us expect that the candidates will lie to some extent? Yet as you've indicated, there's' a double standard for male and female politicians when it comes to lying.
It's as if this is a chance for women to garner power and women, even though we know how to lie and that women lie, would like to see a very fine, moral woman in this position. This is especially true since women lie to get through and ideally a woman in such a position as the women cited above, don't need to 'get through' but have enough power to come clean/be clean.
One of the biggest concerns of pollsters on Election Day is that those responding to exit polls won't tell how they truly voted. Are women more likely to lie in this situation or tell the truth? Why?
This is a concern but it isn't gender specific. And based on my research one area where women are honest is when it comes to their vote. This is because it's a way for women to express themselves and to feel equal - their vote counts as much as a male vote. Thus, this is a place where women feel outspoken and truthful. They own their vote, it counts.
In writing and researching this book, have you developed a keener instinct for spotting the lie?
I wrote this book because I'd written nine previous books documenting the lives of women and in every study, women were confessing to secrets and lies. This includes a book on female infidelity, on mothers in law and daughters in law, on sisters, on second wives, on female rivalry.
I believe that for women, and this applies to the women referenced above as well, that the idea that the lie is acceptable, is always a possibility. The acceptable lie translates into 'I can get away with this, this lie will be accepted if I'm held accountable.'
Surely the political women have some belief that this is a possibility. Or that time moves so fast during the campaign that it will be yesterday's news soon enough.
Can you give us any telltale signs or indicators that clue you in when a woman is lying?
If the story seems off - i.e., too far afield or the facts don't fit - then it's a red flag.
What was your impression of the vice presidential debate?
The vice presidential debate was curious to me, as a gender professor. The way that Sarah Palin presented herself was interesting, because for women in the news/media/limelight, they can be criticized for their clothes, hair, personal style (this doesn't happen to men). So she had to present a certain way (whether it was true or not) to be believed. It's the ultimate spin on why and how women lie - how they present. And this applies to women in the limelight as well as to everyday women.
