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With Over 19 Million Women Victimized By Stalking, Survivor Alexis Moore Triumphs

By December 19, 2011

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We see local news stories and national headlines about stalking when the crime escalates into murder, but they are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. According to a November 2011 study released by the CDC, millions of women (1 in 6)† and men (1 in 19) have experienced stalking in their lifetime. That's 19.3 million women and 5.9 million men.

Two-thirds of female victims are stalked by a current or former intimate partner. That's what happened to Alexis Moore, but unlike other survivors her stalker wasn't just an angry and physically abusive ex; he was a technology expert and private investigator who not only cyberstalked her but systematically destroyed her career and personal life and effectively ruined her credit history.

Alexis Moore

A contributing writer for About.com, Moore authored a series of nine articles in 2009 on the growing prevalence of cyberstalking and included her own story as an example.

Tonight, that story will be featured on Investigation Discovery, part of the Discovery Channel network, on the show Stalked: Somebody's Watching at 10:30 pm ET in the episode "Six Degrees of Separation."

In a related article for the Women's Media Center, Moore describes why tonight's show -- and other forms of media coverage -- are so critical. Each story increases public awareness and spurs local, state and national government agencies to reform domestic violence laws and update legislation to address the growing threat of cyberstalking.

When Moore shared her story on About.com Women's issues three years ago, she closed by saying, "I hope with all my heart that you or your loved ones are never the target of a cyberstalker. But sadly, the odds are that some of you will be."

With the average American woman facing a 1 in 6 chance of being stalked at some point in her life, Moore is unfortunately right.

Photo courtesy Alexis Moore

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Comments

December 20, 2011 at 6:51 am
(1) Bob says:

I am watching this story right now on TV. Either it has been overly simplified or she is the stupidest victim I have ever seen. Really, the Police were helpless to do anything for her?????? That’s ridiculous!!! Ever think of getting an attorney? Talking to a disctrict attorney? Contact a local reporter? Get a gun? Contact Ben’s work, get him fired… no I’ll just be a victim.

Wait, she finally grew a pair and got a gun.

December 20, 2011 at 2:42 pm
(2) Lisa A. MacLeod says:

Dear Bob,

You are absolutely right – It is ridiculous!

And, yes really the police are helpless. They are helpless because they require something called a law. If laws don’t exist, how are the police supposed to help?!

Going to a DA – why repeat myself (but just in case, see above paragraph).

An personal attorney… that’s a good one…lol. They tell you to call the police and that just cost 3 weeks worth of groceries.

Hmmm.. back to square one.

Ahhh… contact his work. Now you have laws – too bad she’d be the one breaking them.

I saved the best for last, “contact a local reporter” which is so far off the mark that I just realized… you must seriously watch far too many episodes of Law & Order ?!

I’ll just list 3 reasons for you, but I encourage you to educate yourself further, because the smartest thing you did say and I do commend you, was “it is ridiculous!”

1. You don’t hear about stalking in the media because it’s rampant & literally too common to be newsworthy – but – you do hear from the media when she is dead.

2. A local reporter is not nessessarily willing to confront a violent stalker and put themeselves and most likely their friends and family at risk.

3. The safest thing for a victim to do and what is always the first advice police, lawyers, advocates or anyone else who is acutely aware of the imminent danger and severity that the stalker poses is “do not respond, ignore all communication.”

So… how long do you think after public exposure would the victim and possibly their family and friends be alive after it was broadcast?!

911 isn’t fast enough but refer to point 1 or simply watch your local newscast for the answer.

(part 1 of 2)

December 20, 2011 at 2:43 pm
(3) Lisa A. MacLeod says:

(part 2 of 2)

In response to Bob:

I hope that helps you understand a few things and you are also right by saying it is over simplified. It is pretty simple. There has to be laws.

I also assure you, victims of stalking and harassment are not stupid.

In fact, they are the smartest people you will ever meet and perhaps you should. They become instant experts in the field of stalking – instant ! It is a matter of life or death; I’m sure you realize that by now.

So, dear Bob… your ignorance is a blessing. That is exactly what people who have been stalked or are being stalked wanted to and are further trying to clarify.

Particularly now with technology. Bob, I am sure within your inner circle right in this moment, perhaps a daughter, sister, neighbour, cousin someone under the age of 16 is receiving or has received obsessive and unwanted attention. You just don’t know about it and they may even think its love. This is the real and imminent danger, our children.

So, I do hope you educate yourself further. I hope you support any and all actions, organizations and advocates working towards change. You do have the ability to make a difference and help save a life and kids really need you to become involved.

Sincerely,

Lisa

p.s. A gun… I am Canadian and we think a little differently – a guard dog is a better answer. ;)

December 20, 2011 at 5:41 pm
(4) Jake says:

As a man I’m amazed how often my fellow brothers dismiss Women and the the fear the experience when stalked online or having been threatened. Ladies, you have my sympathy and I apologize for the despicable behavior of my brothers. I assure you most real men aren’t so pathetic but you’ll likely not find them on-line; they have a real life to enjoy. The internet attracts the dysfunctional no doubt. I would suggest all on-line threats be reported to the police; if anything, there will be in the very least a report filed for statistics.

December 21, 2011 at 12:15 pm
(5) Alyson Cooper says:

There is a lack of understanding of what victims of stalking, cyberstalking and domestic violence encounter even in 2011. Victims have a difficult time and it is not like Law & Order or what the public perceives. There is very little help. Victim resources are nothing more than referral services, that refer a victim to one agency after the other. Acquiring support from law enforcement, district attorneys and private attorneys is nearly impossible unless there is a homicide or the victim has lots of money.

Stalking cases often are low on the totem pole for investigation and prosecution.

The United States doesnít have a place for victims of stalking to turn to for help. The National Stalking Resource Center is funded yet it is a training center only which seems ridiculous but this is true.

The domestic violence agencies are not much better. They are antiquated and totally out of touch with the needs of victims today.

Of course you donít have to take my word for it, I urge the media and the public to call any hotline requesting help or the media to follow along with victims to find out what the realities really are, the results may surprise you.

December 22, 2011 at 11:05 am
(6) Sal Mayer says:

This story was so amazing because far more often we watch about stalking victims who do nothing and don’t fight back or die trying! What a great plot for a movie! So inspired by Alexis

December 28, 2011 at 8:44 pm
(7) Ernest J says:

Alexis story is amazing. I am inspired by her courage and also her tanacity to do what she had to do to resolve the situation. Her story should be an example of what victims of stalking need to do and a guide for those seeking resolution

December 29, 2011 at 1:58 pm
(8) John S. says:

I watched the stalked episode on Christmas Day and I was glued to my chair. Alexis Moore is an incredibly strong woman. The fact that she made it and is alive today and helping stalking victims is great. Like others I hope to read her book and think that this story would be a great movie!

January 3, 2012 at 11:34 am
(9) Ann says:

I am a stalking victim and help never came easy. I can relate to Alexis story and after watching the episode on Discovery I can only hope this leads to more media coverage. I was never helped by law enforcement, National Stalking Resource Center or any other agency. Lawyers can’t do anything, I had to laugh at Bob’s statement here. Bob, what can a lawyer do but take a stalking victims money. Filing suit against the police or the National Stalking Resource Center could be a good idea, I will check in to that, but suing the perpetrator is only poking the bear and useless unless the perpetrator is wealthy which most sociopaths are not so why bother? Go Alexis go is all I can say and I look forward to reading your book.

January 3, 2012 at 1:11 pm
(10) Agnes Baynor says:

Stalking and cyberstalking victims left behind there is a petition and class action suit being initiated to bring about reform. For families of loved ones lost to stalking related homicide and suicide take action to honor loved one’s lost by joining the efforts of Alexis Moore, Survivors In Action, Economic Abuse Recovery, Women’s Legal Resource and victims across the US .http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/a-call-to-action-for-stalking-reform/

January 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm
(11) Toni says:

The show aired this past Sunday. Alexis Moore is brave woman.

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