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Mad Mom Madlyn Primoff Kicks Bickering Daughters Out of Car Then Drives Away

By April 22, 2009

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When Mom's behind the wheel, one of the most annoying distractions is quarreling kids in the car. How many of us have said, "If you don't stop fighting, I'm going to stop the car and drop you off on the side of the road?"

Most kids know that's an idle threat. But two Scardale, NY girls, ages 10 and 12, were literally dumped by their mother, who then drove off.

What was she thinking? The mom, Madlyn Primoff, should have known better. Especially as she's a prominent 45-year-old Park Avenue attorney and a partner at a well-respected law firm in New York City.

On Sunday evening, Primoff told her two bickering daughters to get out of the car as the family drove through White Plains, NY. Once they did, she drove away. When the older one ran after the car Primoff let her back inside. Mother and daughter then proceeded to drive the 3 miles home to Scarsdale, an affluent suburb of New York City, leaving behind the younger daughter abandoned and alone.

A kind stranger, seeing the 10-year-old in tears, bought her an ice cream cone and called White Plains police. They picked the girl up and learned the mother's name and address.

Primoff later reported her younger daughter missing to Scarsdale police, who contacted White Plains where the girl was safe at police headquarters. When Primoff showed up at White Plains with her older daughter in tow, police arrested her and charged her with endangering the welfare of a child. She was arraigned yesterday, pleaded not guilty, and was released on bail.

A temporary order of protection has been issued, which bars her from having contact with her daughters.

Since the story broke late Tuesday night, no doubt the morning news and talk shows will be having a field day with Madlyn Primoff today.

Many of us can empathize with her impulse. But to actually do it...and then drive away and stay away? What was going on inside her head - and inside that car - for her to act this way?

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Comments

April 22, 2009 at 1:29 am
(1) Deborah White says:

I was just telling my husband this story. I remember years ago when I threatened similarly to my son, then about 10 years old. He was terribly frustrating to take on car trips. And now, at age 30, he can occasionally still be frustrating. :)

But ultimately, despite a mother’s frustration with irritatingly bickering kids, she must maintain the self-discipline to hold it together. Often, that’s not an easy task. I feel for this mother, despite her bad judgment.

If I could tell her one thing, it’s this: they do grow up, and eventually have adorable children that frustrate them, too. It’s incredibly satisfying. I know! :)

April 22, 2009 at 7:54 am
(2) Carol S says:

When does the bickering of children become a danger to all of the occupants in the car when they continuously distract the driver? My opinion is that if she didn’t drive out of their site … they got the point. With making this a criminal offense all that happened is the children now know they can behave any way they want to in the car and there is no consequences! They can distract the driver and perhaps cause an accident and they are not held accountable for their actions.

April 22, 2009 at 9:45 am
(3) Angry Dad says:

She left a 10 year old girl alone in White Plains.
There is no defense for that.
If the girls were acting up, then punish them when they get home.
You do not leave a CHILD on the side of the road alone. Ever. That is a lot more dangerous than having to deal with the bickering.
She could have simply pulled over and said she wasn’t moving until they settled down.

April 22, 2009 at 10:02 am
(4) Jennifer says:

I think this is BS. She didn’t abuse them. She didn’t abandon them. She taught them a lesson. When you’re driving, you can’t just pull your kids apart when they’re fighting.

I bet those girls will think twice about throwing temper tantrums in the back of the car.

April 22, 2009 at 10:03 am
(5) Jennifer says:

NOT TO MENTION – The government HAS ABSOLUTELY NO place in parenting someone’s children. There was no child endangerment, abandonment, or anything like that.

How would you like the Government coming in and saying “Sorry, you can’t ground your kids. It’s neglect and abuse”

April 22, 2009 at 10:29 am
(6) DeeAnna Hurst says:

Well why was the 12 year old at home? And a stranger found the girl alone and took her to the police. Donest say if the 12 year old walked, hitch hiked or what to get home. But why did she leave her sister alone? Plus of course the state will get into the situation when Madlyn herself calls that her child is MISSING. And boom there the 10yr old is at the station after telling about her mom leaving her at some park in public . So if the kid had been kidnapped or raped. Whould you all be in the defense of Madlyn or be saying ” why is this woman allowed to have children?”

April 22, 2009 at 10:35 am
(7) sonya says:

First of all, DeeAnna, please read the story. The oldest ran after the car and the mother let her in. Obviously in the mother’s mind if the 10 yr old didn’t come running she obviously didn’t want to get back in the car that badly. I have two words to describe this mother “WHACK JOB”

April 22, 2009 at 11:02 am
(8) DeeAnna Hurst says:

Thank you for pointing that out Sonya. Sorry I missed it.
Yeah Madlyn is a whack job

April 22, 2009 at 12:14 pm
(9) Thereasa says:

This is NOT abuse. My mom has pulled over and kicked kids out to walk home when they wouldn’t listen and stop bickering in the car. For those who say they threat it, but don’t do it…well that is the problem with kids…NO CONSEQUENCES. Do not make a threat that you cannot carry out. Period.

April 22, 2009 at 12:35 pm
(10) Wow says:

All you people. . “parents” (I hope not) defending her actions, if you DO have kids I feel really bad for them. If you DON’T have kids, please don’t.

Like DeeAnna said, if this child had been abducted, raped, or harmed in ANY way because of thier mother’s immature, irresponsible act, would you really feel the same? I think not. You people seem lost

April 22, 2009 at 1:11 pm
(11) Barbara says:

Being the mother of 4 children, and a certified parenting educator, I most sincerely understand this woman’s frustration. And, in my opinion, too much loud arguing, or any back seat distractions can and do cause a dangerous situation for the driver. Accidents happen when a driver gets distracted. And I personally found screams and yelling from the back seat to be distracting. My response to my own kids when they were this young and this was a problem,I would park the car, and I would get out of the car. I stayed in sight, but the car was no longer moving. And did not move until peace, once again reigned in the back seat. I’m glad the judge allowed her contact.

April 22, 2009 at 1:41 pm
(12) Whiteknyght says:

Just three things come to mind…

1. It is a sad state of affairs in this world when a child of 10 can’t find their way home on a simple 3-mile walk through a non-urban area. Not too long ago, that was the prerequisite to getting back and forth to school.

2. It is a sad state of affairs when three miles is too long a wait for a parent to get home… Then taken care of the situation of an over-indulged, spoiled child with a disciplinary solution that temporarily makes it memorable the next time the child goes to sit down.

3. It is a sad state of affairs that any government body is involved in the normal lessons of life.

April 22, 2009 at 2:03 pm
(13) Lolamento says:

The lady has obvious issues with beeing a mother. she cant take it and does not know how to do it, and sadly doesnt want to do it , its called post partum depression, since she has the money she just hired a nana to raise the girs and never really delt with it and now 45/ 5 years shy from 50, with a pre teen (12)and 10y.o. and a career in which she probably spends all of her time in well this happened. thats probably the first time shes been with the girls by her self 2 milli home,partner at a well respected firm in manhattan- nana’s day off.

Well thats what happens to sick people- they think they are too good and usual circumstances dont apply to them (you know the whole being a millionair lawyer thing on top of not really wanting to deal with the kids got to her).

What if something realy bad would have happened to those kids like getting run over and killed- what if the person who found the 10yo was a bad person and would have taken the child and abused the child. But you know something bad did happen, she left, no not left, abandoned a 12y.o. and 10y.o. ( 2 unsupervised minors)on the roadand and kept driving to her 2 mill home to peace and quiet. Those girls will be affected for ever.

I pray the Judge makes an example of her. Hope she gets fired and disbarred.

April 22, 2009 at 2:55 pm
(14) Your Daughter says:

I was dropped off on the side of the road and abandoned to walk home miles and miles as a child – more than once. Im telling you there is no way this is a single instance, or that other wierd things havent happened in this family. Because my mother didnt start with dropping us off on the side of the road – she started with other things, cruel things, inside the house and escalated to things like this – risking exposing the outside world to abuse like this is when they are confident they wont get caught or when they are desperate to get caught so they wont have to be a parent anymore because they cant handle it – dropping you off is something that happens after they have broken you down, not something that randomly happens in the beginning. The mother needs counseling – the children need counseling even more. My mother taught me that by leaving me on the side of the road if i wasnt good enough id be abandoned and alone. Thanks mom. At almost 40, I have anxiety issues and dont trust anyone – why should I – on a whim they might leave me – mother did – why wouldnt someone else.
She is creating insecurities and breaking down her children, if she cant cope in any other way other than leaving a 10 year old 3 miles away from the house – she doesnt deserve to have them and is obviously trying to get rid of them.

April 22, 2009 at 3:09 pm
(15) TheresaD says:

Yes she’s wrong for leaving the girl there, are you people stupid?!?!? What if something happened to her, then what? It’s one thing to pull over make them get out and drive around the corner but to go home, please she needs to be ashamed of herself. If she had control over them this would have never happened. When my mom said hush, that’s what we did!!!

April 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm
(16) Eneri Rose says:

Clearly, there is a whole lot of back story involved here, and this entire family is troubled. But, I don’t think making a 10 year old walk 3 miles home is all that bad and I don’t think the mother should not be punished for it. My guess is the 10 year old was being belligerent in not going back to the car and then she cried over it instead of just walking home.

April 22, 2009 at 8:08 pm
(17) Kim says:

Big deal. I see nothing wrong with it. Its not like she beat her kids, she just made them walk. They need to learn. You make it sound so bad. Come on shouldn’t we be worried about the ones that BEAT there kids or sexually molest there kids. Come on!

April 23, 2009 at 10:23 am
(18) Kris D says:

What happened to parents knowing best? What’s wrong with teaching your kids a lesson? She didn’t beat her kids….what’s wrong with a child walking home? Seem’s like today’s children are spoiled rotten and seem to be controlling their parents and teachers. Remember when you were a kid? I was taught to respect my elders. My parents were not afraid to spank me and I can actually appreciate the lessons I learned from being disciplined.

April 23, 2009 at 10:25 am
(19) anothermadmom says:

As a responsible parent she gave her children a choice and a consequence and when they ignored her, she followed thru. I say good job! If more parents gave consequences and followed thru then there would be a lot less mess in this world.
If the kids were 5 & 3 I could see that going to far, but these girls are 12 & 10. Not only are they old enough to understand their actions, but their mom’s as well.
How many children in NY or any other state for that matter, regardless of how much money the parent makes, are left alone for hours each day? Why aren’t their parents being hauled off to jail? What makes this a crime? Is it because they were put out on the side of the street and had a 3 mile walk home? Would it have been a better sitiuation for her to ignore their behavior until she snapped and then took them home and beat the snot out of them in private?
So many kids are beaten and tortured each and every day and they are not taken from the abusive parent and the parents are not punnished, some never live to tell about it. Some of those parents recieve funds from the government to sit home and stay in the sad situation. This mother not only let her pre-teen girls know that their were consequences to their behavior, but she followed thru. When they are 14 & 16 and wanting to run around with boys or smoke, drink and have sex, they will know that mom means business when she lays down the law and maybe they will think twice about making bad choices.
It’s too bad that we can’t lovingly punish our children anymore, I am pretty sure the government is running out of money to house and pay for all the little criminals we are being forced to raise…
HEY…maybe she should have waterboarded the girls, that’s seems more forgivable in the governments eyes!

April 23, 2009 at 10:36 am
(20) Liz says:

The news said after she left the 10 year, three hours later she returned home and then reported her missing. I didn’t hear them say he drove straight home, nor did they say what she was doing in those three hours. Does anyone know? Did she possibly drive around the block and then spend the next three hours looking for her. Although she may have made a bad decision the media is sensationalizing this because sthe mother is an attorney. Tuesday night in southern Indiana, a woman left her nine month old baby alone, on the couch, in a second story apartment,with the door wide open, in 36 degree weather, all night. This didn’t make national news? Why not?

April 23, 2009 at 11:16 am
(21) Bindy01 says:

Totally agree with the concept of making the kids get out of the car and think of their actions – while everyone calms down. But wrong decision to drive off with one and not the other! Regardless of what she did in those 3 hours (drive home, or start looking for the 10 year old), she shouldn’t have let one in the car without the other. Dare I tell everyone that I put my 2 daughters out of the car myself a couple of years ago when they’d have been similar ages? I knew they had to be safe so drove off the road and happened upon a large cemetary. I told them to look at the graves and realize that we’re a long time dead, so not to waste their lives fighting and bickering with each other or with me. Drove to the other side of the cemetary till I calmed down and then came back. Upon my return they were happy, friendly and apologetic – and I think it did them some good. They still talk about it and laugh, but think they got the point. As I say, love the concept of shock treatment for bratty behavior, but totally incorrectly carried out in this situation!

April 23, 2009 at 2:27 pm
(22) Minervah says:

My mom did that to me when I was about 11. She left me in downtown Chicago while the family was shopping because I lagged behind.
I knew how to travel to and from downtown but I had no money for bus fare.

After I realized the car was not in the parking space and figuered I had been left behind, I went to my doctor’s office for a “loan” to get back home on the “EL”

To me it was annoying but no big deal. My doctor on the other hand called my mom and told her she was going to report her to CSFS.

I learned a lesson, it didn’t scar me and I knew my mother was crazy anyway so life continued on.

April 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm
(23) KD says:

The mothers who think that its okay to leave a 10 year old for three hours are sick sick sick sick sick and pathetic, madmom I hope when you have alzhiemers your kids leave you on the side of the road you pathetic fool. It is not loving to abandon your child it is sick sick sick sick MADMOM I hope your children send you to a evil old folks home where you get beaten.

April 23, 2009 at 3:25 pm
(24) Mom of 2 says:

The three hour lag is what is concerning along with letting one kid in and not the other…would the solution of spanking the unruly children at home be better and less humiliating than get out and walk? I think people are forgetting how old 10 is now…if you are supposed to talk to your kids about sex at 10 then what harm is a walk home? I wouldn’t make the threat to get out because I wouldn’t kick my kids out…but I sure as heck wouldn’t take them for an outting for a while to remind how one must behave in order to earn the priviledge. I think many parents make rash choices in parenting and most don’t end up arrested for it…for far more neglectful things at that

April 23, 2009 at 5:12 pm
(25) Pat says:

She was lucky that the person who found her daughter alone and crying on the street was not a child molester. Who would leave a 10 year-old girl alone on the street three miles from her home? Sorry, but she deserved to be arrested and taught a lesson. The kids could have easily been disciplined when they got home.

April 23, 2009 at 5:13 pm
(26) getoverit says:

The bottom line is that people are feeding like sharks because the woman is wealthy. There aren’t enough facts in this article to draw conclusions. We don’t know if she went back to look and we don’t know where on the “road” she left the kid. A highway is another story but a 10 year old on a suburban block, near a park, with a cellphone or money for a phonebooth isn’t that big of a deal. When I was 10 I walked around and nothing happened to be. What a shocker! The way this is written just leads people to project their own issues all over the place. Too bad an actual human being has to deal with the consequences. Get some therapy.

April 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm
(27) Suzanne says:

I can’t believe people are defending this women. As the mother of two daughters I can’t imagine doing something so terrible. Aside from the fact that she would have to live with herself if something happened to one of the girls she has to live with the knowledge that she has lost the trust of her children. It’s our job as parents to protect our children not dump them on the side of the road. Maybe she should put herself in time out next time she has a mommy meltdown.

April 23, 2009 at 6:57 pm
(28) L says:

I don’t blame her, looks like the kids are brats. They are both old enoubh to know better, kids are smarter now.

April 23, 2009 at 6:59 pm
(29) Wendy says:

I think that she snapped.I am sorry that it happened-it was wrong what she did. I have no idea what kind of stress this woman is under in her personal or business life but I imagine it must be immense. People think because she is a high powered attorney her life must be so perfect and being a lawyer she must be a exemplar of respect and reason. That does not necessarily have to be the case so it is easier for me to think that she just lost it.My prayers are with her.

April 23, 2009 at 7:00 pm
(30) Alice says:

So… everyone who has a nasty comment about Ms. Primoff’s actions is the perfect parent? Her intentions may have been to return and pick up her daughter after a few minutes. Dropping her daughter off three miles home is hardly abandonment. Many people do and have walked that far to work or school.

April 23, 2009 at 7:09 pm
(31) milt says:

I have read many comments about this story and found none that mention if the mother had spanked the kids she would never have been arrested. Her actions may have been less than enlightened, but this society places parents in the impossible situation of being responsible for children they cannot control. Defiant and self-absorbed children are the norm in this society. I am dismayed that society considers it child abandonment to have a child walk 3 miles or for the parent to expect cooperative behavior in a vehicle on a busy street. The police have intruded on a family problem and emboldened some spoiled and selfish children.

April 23, 2009 at 7:14 pm
(32) Father says:

While I would not leave my little girls and drive off;I would have kicked them little bitches out of the auto and parked.I would make them walk home with me following in the auto. It appears they have a privilaged life and proably piss off anyone who comes in contact with their snobby ways. Parents need to be in charge not the children or the courts,this why so many youth are out of control.

April 23, 2009 at 7:20 pm
(33) GAmommyof5 says:

Some of you must not have children! She’s not a whack job; ITS CALLED TOUGH LOVE!! She shouldn’t be charged with anything! Thanks a lot lady who called the police. Mothers should stick together. We have the hardest job in the world! You could have simply looked at the state of her clothing and well nourished body and tell that she was obviously being well fed and designer clothed. Why didn’t you just ask her where she lived, and took her home. And express to her mom how you felt about what she did. I’m sure she would’ve went home! Now if she was scared to go home, then there would be an issue. But I’m sure the she was ready and willing to get back to her mommy’s 2 million dollar home. When the kids get older, they will thank there mom for the experience. What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.

She had a bad day! What mother doesn’t! I bet they won’t pull that crap again!!!!!

Now you’ve gone and turned that lady’s world upside down. As if she needed anymore stress!!! She was obviously already at her breaking point!! Some people should just mind there on business!

April 23, 2009 at 7:25 pm
(34) Senior says:

Now that Mommy has been arrested by the police the girls know that Mommy will not pull that dumb stunt again.

The girls win. Mommy loses.

Good for Mommy.

(Just another joke of a Lawyer)

April 23, 2009 at 7:32 pm
(35) pawpaw says:

“Primoff later reported her younger daughter missing to Scarsdale police…”

INMHO, that Primoff appears to have lied to the police suggests that she had not lost her mind but in fact had enough of it to try to “cover her ass.”

April 23, 2009 at 9:03 pm
(36) r.kull says:

PLEASE! I did the same thing with my kids when they were fighting in the back seat. I drove a Volkswagon Rabbit and that car was rocking all over the place. I told them if they didn’t stop it when I pulled off the freeway they were getting out. They kept it up so I pulled off and kicked them out. My kids were boys but when kids push you to the breaking point you’d better do something to let them know that you aren’t kidding. Bet they won’t pull that fighting in the car stuff anymore.

April 23, 2009 at 10:07 pm
(37) Rick says:

Shes a wonderful mother , she did what she had to , her bad children would not listen , i bet they listen next time !!!

April 23, 2009 at 10:34 pm
(38) lili dauphin says:

Mothers are humans too. She made a mistake. Maybe she was frustrated and stressed. I am sure she regrets it. At least, she doesn’t abuse her kids. Now, it’s time to forgive and stop judging.

April 23, 2009 at 10:45 pm
(39) Peter says:

Which is better: “drop” your bratty kids off, and let them walk home three miles… or give into their demands like getting them condoms for sex. I guess we need to make a committee to decide. NOT!

April 24, 2009 at 10:23 am
(40) cinemaven says:

Three miles is nothing if it’s a familiar road the kids walk every day. Three miles is a disaster waiting to happen if they’re kids who don’t normally walk and who don’t know the road.

I read stories like this one and it makes me want to hug my kids. I have two boys (now 22 and 16) and I’ve never been tempted to leave them somewhere. I’ve never had to spank them or do more than let them know I’m disappointed by their behavior to have them turn it around. My guys still joke about “the look” and it’s awesome power to stop them in their tracks.

I think what troubles me most about this story is the fact that the mom favored one child by allowing her into the car. I think that, much more than the abandonment, is what will resonate with the 10 yr. old.

If the 10 year old was not able to find her way home, it is child endangerment and I have zero sympathy for the mother but my heart goes out to that little girl.

April 24, 2009 at 11:34 am
(41) Lynne says:

I did this to my 2 sons when they were younger. They were warned sevaral times that if they did not stop fighting I was going to pull over and make them walk home. Of course being children they tested that threat, I pulled over and made them get out and walk 3.5 miles home. They never once fought in the car again. I did stay with them and followed in the car, making sure that they took a safe route and they were never out of my sight. It was by far the best way to deal with the situation, as they learned a couple very valuable lessons…..1. no fighting in the car, and 2. respect your mother and what she says. I don’t see this as a bad mother, I see this as discipline.

April 24, 2009 at 1:28 pm
(42) momoftwo says:

My MIL kicked my husband out of the car when he was around that age and made him walk back home. She did not abuse him and this was not the culmination of years of abuse as some commentors have suggested. He’s fine. He walked home. He learned to not be an a** in the car and they have a great relationship to this day.
I would never do what this woman did, and I hope a judge orders her to parenting classes instead of jailtime. I believe she probably is over-stressed and has too much on her plate trying to raise children and have a high-powered job.
Aren’t we all a little over-paranoid to think something bad would have happened to those girls? I used to walk all over the dang town when I was a kid. I miss the days when kids were allowed to roam. In fact, statistics would show that those girls were in more danger of being in a car accident driving back home than of being abducted. Of course, they could have been ran over too, but I really would hope that a 10 and 12 yr. old would know how to walk by the side of the road without stumbling into it.

April 24, 2009 at 3:16 pm
(43) Trishaa2 says:

I believe Ms. Madoff should be punish to the full extent of the law. I am appauled that this seemingly well education/attorney could be so totally void of common sense/abusive with this awful act of mental/emotional abandonment. She needs (PARENTING CLASSES)! STUPIDO!

April 24, 2009 at 3:21 pm
(44) trishaa2 says:

This is absolute pure unadultered child abuse!I am the mother of 3-adult daughters/never did I ever dream of doing such a thing to my PRECIOUS children. There are enough crazies in the world>Mom shouldn’t be one of them. I am appauled @ this seamingly educated ATTORNEY>who has absolutely NO COMMON SENSE>SHE NEEDS (PARENTING CLASSES WITH HER PAYCHECK)! MOM IN NY

April 24, 2009 at 3:36 pm
(45) whiteknyght says:

To quote the late great George Carlin, today’s parents are a bunch of “over-obsessed diaper sniffers.” Worry less about your child’s rights and self-esteem and teach them more about cause and effect and responsibility for their actions.

April 24, 2009 at 5:53 pm
(46) Pam Scantalides says:

I once threw my three children, then 11, 7, and 4, out into the yard in a February snowstorm, in their pajamas, barefoot!! Then I locked the door, and shut the curtains. (it was February school vacation in the Northeast :^) Of course, after they walked around the house and knocked on the front door, I let them in, but I took my time. They are all functioning adults in their 30′s now, and still tell my grandchildren the story. We should cut this poor woman some slack. There is really no excuse for 10 and 12 year olds to act up in a car. She had her reasons for what she did. For heavens sake — why can’t a 10 year old be expected to walk home — in an upscale suburban neighborhood?? I agree with whiteknyt. Parents exist for a reason and it’s not to kiss their kids butts!!

April 24, 2009 at 6:18 pm
(47) Lynn says:

This is not abuse. You mean to tell me that a 10 year can’t walk 3 miles home on a spring day in a posh neighborhood? There are still alot of 10 year olds in this country that actually have to walk to school. I agree with whiteknyght.

April 24, 2009 at 9:54 pm
(48) iluvmykids says:

What a stupid, stupid woman. If your children are acting up in the back seat. Stop the car, put one up front in the passenger seat, leave the other one in the back. Tell them that you don’t want to hear another word. When you get home send them to their rooms, punish them, make them do chores, etc…
Abandoning a crying,terrified 10 year old girl on the side of the road in a city is placing that child in danger. It is neglect. period. The story states that a “good Samaritan” was able to coax the child into going with him/her for ice cream. What if that good samaritan hadn’t been so good?? What if someone with bad intentions had caught sight of this scared, confused child? Sadly, we’d be reading about her her disappearance( and perhaps about her body being found).Pedophiles are on the look out for children just like this little girl- alone & vulnerable. They are “easy pickin’s”.
This mother should be punished for the lack of concern she demonstrated for her daughter’s safety.
FYI: There was a story last year about a mother who did the same thing as this stupid woman. Kicked her little girl out of the car. The child was struck & killed by the very next car that drove by.

April 24, 2009 at 11:59 pm
(49) Sophia says:

This is not funny at all. This woman should/could have used better judgement than what she did. “Follow by example”, now these kids could have possibly been a victim of rape or kidnapping. She should be ashamed of herself and should be punished to the fullest. Yes she made a bad call, and no she should not be let off for this CRIME!

April 25, 2009 at 12:45 pm
(50) Parent of five says:

This this “educated attorney” opbviously hasn’t raised her childeren to respect her.

The behavior of children is a reflection of how they are brought up.

Maybe she has spent too much time working to buy that 10-room house and 2 Cadillacs to spend quality time with her kids.

She doesn’t have the qualifications to raise children.

Parents should put the welfare of their children above material goods.

April 25, 2009 at 4:33 pm
(51) Good for her says:

I am bothered how people are taking this story way out of context. As someone who grew up and now has a family in the area, three miles in White Plains is *nothing.* The Good Samaritan was a bitch and probably one of those Mommy Mafia-types (God, how I despise them) for delivering the daughter to the police in the first place.

I am also bothered how people are pretty much bashing this woman for godforbid, having a successful career *and* a family. If Mad Mom Madlyn were Mad Dad Madlyn, I bet there would be far fewer people complaining about how much time she spent at work vs. the time she spent with her kids.

April 25, 2009 at 8:05 pm
(52) Soursop says:

Good for her wrote: >

I grew up in the same area. White Plains is an urbanized suburb and three miles in it is SOMETHING — something dangerous. That kid could have been hit by a car. It’s far less likely, but she also could have been found by someone with bad intentions.

Good for her wrote: >

Excuse me? You think someone who finds a ten year old wandering alone and crying by the side of the road and calls the police is a bitch? What do you suggest she should have done? The little girl is lucky someone cared enough to stop and help.

Good for her wrote: >

Well, I hope you aren’t a parent and never become one. What Primoff did endangered her child’s (children’s, really) safety. That is illegal and should be.

April 25, 2009 at 8:17 pm
(53) Soursop says:

Is someone trying to slander someone named Pam Scantalides? Because what the alleged Pam did to her 11, 7, and 4 year old — locking them outside barefoot in a snow storm — is hideously abusive. It’s disgusting. I can easily imagine that happening, but I can’t imagine anyone being dumb enough to use their real name when admitting it. I am sure the poster did it — I am just not sure a person named Pam Scantalides did it. FWIW, the poster should never have had children. Her actions are sickening.

April 25, 2009 at 9:19 pm
(54) iluvmykids says:

Soursop, let me get this straight… the “Good Samaritan” who rescued this abandoned, frightened child is a bitch, while the poor excuse for a mother who threw her out is some sort of a hero???? Yikes!
( shaking my head in disbelief).
Also- how come mom didn’t know where her 10 year old was for 3 hours? I have an 11 y/o & a 7 y/o. I have never lost track of them for 3 hours. Obviously she knew that what she did was wrong, because when she called the police ( 3 hours later!!) , she reported her child missing- conveniently omitting the fact that she was the one who had thrown the poor child out. What a loser.
BTW: I am also a working mom. I am not condemning her for working- just for being a bad mother.

April 25, 2009 at 9:24 pm
(55) iluvmykids says:

Oooppss.
I meant to address my prior comment to “good for her”, not to “soursop”.

Sorry :)

April 25, 2009 at 9:32 pm
(56) mad mom basher says:

“I am also bothered how people are pretty much bashing this woman for godforbid, having a successful career *and* a family.”

Mad mom may have a successful business career but it is obvious she is not having success with her family.

She should be pitied.

She has not chosen the best.

April 26, 2009 at 7:17 pm
(57) Kristi says:

This woman deserved to be arrested. I feel so bad for those little girls and I sincerely hope they are able to go to a new home and this woman goes to jail! If its wrong to dump puppies off on the side of the road, what do you suppose it is to dump children? 10 and 12 are barely old enough to be left at home by themselves, let alone on the side of the street. Just because nothing happened to those little girls doesn’t make what this woman did right, it just makes her lucky. Child molestors are everywhere! People are saying its no big deal to make your kid walk home but your being deliberately obtuse. This little girl Probably wasn’t sure if she was ALLOWED to go home. If her mother was psycho enough to dump her out of the car and actually leave, then the girl probably got the message that her mother didn’t love her or want her anymore. Which is exactly the point that psycho was trying to make. She may have been dumped in an unfamiliar location and not known the way home, or she may just have been afraid to leave that spot in case her mother came back looking for her. This woman also filed a false police report and I think she should be charged with that too. She’s wasting the police departments time reporting her kid missing when she wasn’t missing at all. Not to mention the fact that she called the Scarsdale Police when she dumped her kid in White Plains? Why didn’t she call White Plains PD? Why wasn’t she out there looking for her daughter herself? Most importantly, why wasn’t the kid safely at home, where she should have been in the first place? There is NOTHING a kid can do that justifies this! I am floored that there hasn’t been a bigger backlash. But I guess we’ll just have to wait until the next time this happens and one of the kids get run over, kidnapped, molested, etc. But then I’m sure the irresponsible parents will be held blameless even though it would be their fault.

Oh, and we keep getting idiots squealing “Your just jealous of her money” and “Mommy-mafia types.” No one cares how much money this woman has. I wonder why it was even mentioned in the story. And the good samaritan is a bitch for stopping to check on a crying 10 year old who appeared to be alone? Geez, you must be the victim of one of those mommy-mafia types. What did you do? Get caught beating your kid? Poor thing. But then, your bitterness is out of place. If you don’t want to get in trouble for abusing your kid, then don’t do it!

April 27, 2009 at 11:03 am
(58) mad mom basher says:

EXCELLENT POINT!

“This little girl Probably wasn’t sure if she was ALLOWED to go home. If her mother was psycho enough to dump her out of the car and actually leave, then the girl probably got the message that her mother didn’t love her or want her anymore. Which is exactly the point that psycho was trying to make.”

THAT IS THE REAL TRAGEDY.

April 27, 2009 at 4:50 pm
(59) Stacey says:

The sad truth is that the government is damned if they do and damned if they dont. Some parents (many) are full blown selfish idiots. The authorities have to step in when children are abused, abandoned, and neglected. This is lady is nothing more than an educated idiot. I wonder if she has done this before. Also, I am amazed that the older child left her little sister. The apple apparently doesnt fall far from the tree.

April 28, 2009 at 11:44 am
(60) Rene says:

There are several problems that have completely destroyed this country:
1. Government interference with raising kids
2. Stupid people. And this includes all of you who can sit here and make a judgement call on something that is described in less than 20 sentences. Some have even asked questions and then turned right around and said it was wrong before getting answers to those questions. What give you all the right to play GOD???
Between the government (which is full of stupid people) and the community (which is fuller), this country has no hope.

April 28, 2009 at 4:16 pm
(61) Sherie says:

I cannot believe people think this woman is a whack job. So what, she threw her kids out of the car 3 miles from home. Who cares? Are people actually raising their kids to be such big babies that they can’t walk 3 miles to their house? Plenty of kids walk to and from school every single day with that distance. It is not that far. More power to her. I wouldn’t have let the 12 year old back in the car. I would have made them both walk. I think part of the reason we have so many overindulged, spoiled rotten kids is because of parents like the ones herre complaining about this woman. Make your kids take responsibility for their actions. This woman is my hero!

April 28, 2009 at 6:24 pm
(62) j says:

Are you people supporting this mother forgetting that she didn’t drop her kids off in some small community where everyone knows everyone? She did this in WHITE PLAINS NY! I don’t walk the streets alone at night when I visit White Plains, and I’m a 30 year old woman! Gimme a break.

April 28, 2009 at 6:32 pm
(63) Debra says:

Wow, kids now days are very smart. They know how to get under their parents skin. As parents we sometimes want to smack the hell out of our children for their flip behaviors and smart tones but we find ourselves controlling our urges because we know that if we ack while we are emotional, we will regret it later. The girls should have shut up when their mom told them too. Mom should not have kicked them out of the car and left. If she was going to make them walk home then she should have done so while trailing them in the car. There are right and wrong ways to decipline children. If a way is wrong, at least make sure that it’s safe for all involved.

April 28, 2009 at 7:12 pm
(64) 18 year old kid says:

This is ridiculous. To everyone who says she didn’t do anything wrong, think again! If something bad would have happened to that little girl it would be a whole other story. Everyone would be condemning her for the abandonment. I agree that kids are spoiled rotten these days and a parent needs to put his/her foot down, but not in a way that puts a young kid in danger. And then she reports her daughter missing? She doesn’t even bother to go get her daughter? What a terrible mother!!
Other possible solutions could have been to pull over and stop the girls from fighting, or punish them when they got home, not leave them on the side of the road. The girl was only ten and could easily get lost or scared.
My parents taught me discipline and led by example. If people were better parents, incidents like this would never happen. Or here’s a thought, if you can’t be a good parent, or are not ready to have kids, quit having so much random, unprotected sex. I hear so many stories of young people hooking up, not wearing protection, and its terrible.
Back to the subject of this terrible mom, I don’t know how she should be punished because I don’t know if this was a one time mistake on her part or if she truly is a whack job, but she does deserve some punishment. There is no debating that what she did was wrong. Would you leave your kids on the side of the road? 3 miles might not be a big deal for you as an adult, but its huge for a little kid.

April 28, 2009 at 7:55 pm
(65) goldie says:

She is nuts. and probably would have been devasted if her child was raped and murdered along side the road. then how would she have felt? The mother deserves everything the laws gonna give her…. maybe she will learn a lesson and count her lucky stars her child is still alive. Imagine growing up and the embaressment of this story. thanks Mom You a wack-a-doo

April 29, 2009 at 4:40 am
(66) Dave says:

How dare her. Her mind wasn’t in the right place, and if I was her kids I would run away. She or what other mothers think this is right thing too do, they are mentally retarded.

April 29, 2009 at 5:40 am
(67) Terri says:

There are few actions a children’s caregiver can actually take today to enforce desirable behavior in children because the children have more rights than adults but no responsibilities in many instances. Certainly, the mother should not have abandoned either of her girls that far from home and unattended. Her best alternative in that situation was to stop the car in a legal spot and refuse to go any further until they got their act together. If she did make them get out, she should have waited there with them until they realized they had to cooperate with each other until all could get home safely. This mother and her girls probably all need family counseling and where was dad?

April 29, 2009 at 5:44 am
(68) michelle says:

I do not see what she did wrong. A 10 year old and a 12 year old should know better than to act like brats in the back seat-I bet next time they will behave better. It would have been different if it were a set of preschoolers. Things like this make parents scared to parent their children and that is why there are so many low lives out there. Great Job Primoff!

April 29, 2009 at 6:11 am
(69) michelle says:

Those of you who think this woman is such a terrible person, there is nowhere in that article that says that children are malnurished or display any signs of abuse. Do you think they should go to a group home? Do you honestly believe they would be better in foster care?!

April 29, 2009 at 6:57 am
(70) Aunti says:

I wonder how the father would have handled these bickering children while driving. What some of you don’t seem to understand is the mother is the nurturer and the father is the disiplinarian. Those girls not be bickering if the father was behind the wheel.

April 29, 2009 at 7:41 am
(71) Ray Gunn says:

She did the right thing. You people are just over reacting. Something could have happened to the kids in their own front yard. Would you then say the mother was negligent, for letting her children play outside? This is a world where anything can happen, but that does not mean be over protective and hide your children from the world. How will the children learn discipline if they never have consequences? When I was 12, I had to run 3 miles a day in cross country. I would then walk over 2 miles to get back home from school, even though there was a bus. It was not dangerous, even though anything could have happened. But like I said, anything can happen anytime, anyplace. I think the kids would know their way home and make it if they were determined. And they would learn their lesson.

April 29, 2009 at 7:47 am
(72) Ray Gunn says:

And those over protective parents that call this mom mad should wake up. These are probably the same type of over protective, parents that don’t give enough attention to their children’s character, turning them to Columbine kids. I respect the mom. She is a lawyer as well. She is not guilty until proven so, and she plead innocent. So save the judgment and criticism until after the real judgment.

April 29, 2009 at 9:11 am
(73) Lydia says:

We’ll never know all the circumstances and dynamics.Maybe the mom is a loon. Maybe the kids are heathens.
What we DO know is:
1. It is legal in every state to leave children over the age of 10 home alone. How is that different from having the child walk home from the neighborhood?
2. CONSEQUENCES (both + & -) behest change & growth. Yet empty threats behest (well earned) disrespect.

BTW – I did a very like thing. My then 11 year old wouldn’t get in the car when it was time to leave the skate park. I gave him warnings and finally got in, drove slowly around the block and I’ll be darned – there he was – waiting for me!! He hasn’t done it since! He knows the other option is for me to stand at the edge of the park and yell his name at the top of my lungs until he acknowledges me. Gotta be creative to reach these kids.

April 29, 2009 at 9:37 am
(74) lydia says:

Something more to consider. The 10 year old took ‘candy from a stranger’. Okay, okay, it was ice cream, but same diff. That either speaks to the childs underdeveloped frontal lobe (even for that age) OR the safety of the area…
Also – OF COURSE the girls will continue to be naughty. The consequences are that the mom was totally undermined. Whether she was right or wrong, those kids know that the first time they disagree, all they have to do is add another notch on mom’s wrap sheet…

Whitenyght & R.Kul = LOL love your comments.

April 29, 2009 at 10:56 am
(75) barbara chavis says:

all stressed out!!!

April 29, 2009 at 11:42 am
(76) KimLen says:

MY HATS OFF TO MADLYN!!! I’ve heard the comments “Inhumane” “crazy” blah blah blah..I’ve almost wrecked because my children were BICKERING to the point of like making the car move while driving down the road. 10 & 12 yr old girls? They should have thought about there behavior while they were standing on the side of the road instead of taking off for “Ice Cream” with some stranger. A mother does not “order” the pre-teen children out of the car for the hell of it! I’ve done it, and would do it again…As a matter of fact my children are now 18 & 19 they KNOW today if they are in the car with me, they best behave or get to “Hoofen” it!!

April 29, 2009 at 11:47 am
(77) KimLen says:

I wanted to TOTALLY AGREE with “GETOVERIT”..You said it the way it needed to be said, THANK YOU!!

April 29, 2009 at 11:54 am
(78) Cheri says:

Read a few of these posts and decided to write. When I was a very small child, about 45 years ago, my mother did this to her six children in California. This during the era when Charles Manson was roaming that state among others. To all of us it was very traumatic and affected our lives throughout. Later our mother did not remember most of the pshycological and physical abuse she put us through; yes, there was a lot more. Myself, I wish there had been police around who would have done something to protect us from what we went through. No matter how mad your kids make you – you are the adult and you should act like an adult and never abandon your child. The ramifications down the line for that child when they reach adulthood are many and drastically affect their lives and the lives of any who they interact with.

April 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm
(79) Tams says:

I feel for the lady. Right or wrong, I do believe it was blown out of proportion. People judge before they even know the entire experience. I would like to see what every person who says that wouldn’t do it go through exact same experience. I bet you half of those people would end up doing the same thing or far worse. People are always ready to criticize and judge when it’s not them going through the same thing.

April 29, 2009 at 1:39 pm
(80) Cindi says:

I am over 40 – I have been a child and am a mother. at the age of 10 to 14 I ranged 5 miles or more from home just in my play as a child and my children ages 10 to 13 range just as far in their play – when my boys get too roughty – I tell them go run the horse trail — it takes them 2 hours (they play along the way) but I get peace and quiet — they know they are not being desertet but that if they want people to want them around they have to be respectible and respect the other persons space too — My mom use to send me out to play when she need some peace and quiet — the ones who are against this lady are not parents and most likely never had to deal with children – or they are neglecting training their kids to become good adults — this has been blown way out of poportion — I say the kid is most likely one of those spoiled brats I hate being around!

April 29, 2009 at 2:27 pm
(81) mad mom basher says:

Attorney mad mom lied to the police.

Imagine a lawyer lying!

It’s expected she will be excused based on professional courtesy.

Lawyers lie s a routine matter.

However, mothers should not be liars about what is happening to their children.

It’s obvious that in mad mom’s case the lawyer part of her personality predominates.

April 29, 2009 at 3:06 pm
(82) Susan Lee says:

I am a former attorney who used to drive five pre-adolescent, special needs boys to private school, 40 miles, one-way, several times a week.

I can certainly relate to this mom’s frustrations. However, the tactic that I found worked the best was pulling the car off the side of the road, stopping, and refusing to continue until everyone quieted down.

In three years, I think I only had to actually do this twice. After that, merely turning on the turn signal and slowing down was sufficient.

Yes, I had court hearings and appointments to get to. But this was actually a time saver in the long run.

As far as the child being endangered – I think what actually happened speaks for itself. If a kindly stranger was able to spot her and pick her up before her mother got back to her, who’s to say an un-kindly stranger couldn’t have done the same thing?

My legal advice on this one is – plead out and take your lumps on this one, honey.

April 29, 2009 at 4:41 pm
(83) TLF says:

That is the whole problem with kids today…no discipline. They are just given WHATEVER they want to shut them up. Instead of leaving them on the side of the road, she should have pulled over and spanked their behinds!

April 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm
(84) Benny says:

I believe that mrs.Primoff should have done more than spanking there behind as somebdy said, she should have applied the law of the Israelites , deutoronomy 21:18

May 1, 2009 at 11:23 am
(85) stunned in NM says:

Benny says: I believe that mrs.Primoff should have done more than spanking there behind as somebdy said, she should have applied the law of the Israelites , deutoronomy 21:18

You would have her stone her children to death!?! That’s how that chapter of Deuteronomy ends. Please tell me you don’t take your Bible that literally. I have no idea what White Plains, NY is like, and yes I roamed great distances as a child, too. But that was almost 30 years ago. We live in a very different world. It sounds as though the entire family needs help.

May 2, 2009 at 5:55 pm
(86) iluvmykids says:

Oh C’mon! You people are acting like this is the only form of “discipline” that this stupid woman could’ve taken.
When my kids act up – I bring them home & ground them ( stay in their rooms, clean, not allowed to play with friends, etc, etc, …..) There are a MILLION things that a parent can do to SAFELY and RESPONSIBLY discipline a child, rather than throwing them out on the side of the road.

Gimmee a break.

May 8, 2009 at 12:30 pm
(87) Michelle says:

I am late joining the conversation on this, but in my opinion, a 12 year old and a 10 year old should be able to find their way 3 miles home, as long as the neighborhood is reasonably safe. I know when I was 10, I was allowed to go much further than 3 miles away, all by myself, and I am only 30, so that was not that long ago! I do not think the mom is crazy, I think she was trying to teach her kids a valuable lesson, and I think it is absurd that she should be charged with “abandoning” a 10 year old 3 miles from home! This is media-induced hysteria about pedophiles and child abduction; if you look at the statistics, a child has a much better chance of getting struck by lightening than getting abducted by a stranger while walking home.

May 13, 2009 at 2:15 am
(88) MI-Mom says:

Um, I keep a CD in my car for when the kids bicker. The louder they get, the louder I play it. When they get quieter, so does the music.

The funny part? It’s “Bible songs for kids.” Once I passed a construction lady with a slow/stop sign who stared so hard as we went by: kids yelling and “the B-I-B-L-E, that’s the book for me” blasting. HIlarious.

Christian or not, this works. Then? No need to kick anyone out of the car (though they’ll wish you did). Next time, Ms. Primoff might try it.

It doesn’t take long before we are peaceful again. And no, I don’t play it loud enough to damage little ears.

May 13, 2009 at 2:44 am
(89) womensissues says:

After all the heated exchanges on this volatile and divisive topic, I have to say that your comment is my favorite. You certainly have the right “spirit” when it comes to managing kids in cars. (I had a good laugh over the construction lady story.)

I’m sure there are also good car tunes for Jewish families, and I just read about the Artist Formerly Known as Cat Stevens making a recent comeback with his music, starting with songs for Islamic families…

Thanks for the lighthearted response – it was much-needed and much-appreciated.

July 27, 2009 at 1:33 pm
(90) Anonymous says:

Please! She’s a wonderful mother? Would you say that if these supposedly bratty spoiled bimbo girls had been kidnapped, beaten, or raped? Cause even in an upscale neighborhood, this is still New York! And at night! You people need to think about what could have happened. That ten year old kid wasn’t being belligerent- she was being a scared ten year old kid! Do you idiots not remember what it was like being left behind by your parent, a trusted and loved figure in your life? And who’s to say the parents DON’T beat them? The mother obviously had no problem endangering her child with abandonment- yes it’s abandonment; she never told her kids she’d come back to get them, she just kicked em out, wished em luck, and drove off merrily humming! She had no problem doing that, so why can’t she be secretly beating them? You don’t know what it’s like to be in a screwed up family with parents you believe don’t really care about you. The morons who think she’s a ‘really great mom’ need to get a reality check and brain!

December 23, 2009 at 12:12 am
(91) WES says:

Particularly disturbing to read the womans comment ‘us mums need to stick together’ I assume thats why so many now freely abuse their children and walk away scot free for it Your a sexist blind idiot who doesnt deserve children and should never have had them Another feminised rubber stamp for stupidity Go figure Loser

May 14, 2010 at 12:55 pm
(92) sue larson says:

Her mistake was driving off and leaving them. She could have just stopped the car and said they weren’t moving until they behaved…What if the person that found the younger daughter was a pedophile or murderer? You NEVER leave your children to fend for themselves….

May 14, 2010 at 12:58 pm
(93) sue larson says:

Also on the local news this morning, they did a reenactment and had the woman smoking as she got out to drop them off…Talk about adding fuel to the fire. They really wanted her to look bad….Smoking in the car with kids…Ill bet the real woman doesn’t smoke at all…

May 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm
(94) ShellyLoch says:

I personally know the elder daughter, and she’s mentioned that her and her sister’s trauma came not from being left off on the side of the road, but from the hatemail, critical/threatening phonecalls, and hate that her family got from the public. It was a terrifying and stressful time, and people, even those commenting here, should take into consideration whether their outsider-view comments are going to simply but more turmoil and negativity on a family having a personal crisis.
I’m not taking a side, and I’m not trying to justify Madyln kicking her children out of the car, but I am trying to say that the story is never as simple as it seems, and as someone who is prone to snap judgements, I wanted to comment that the girls are still haunted by the critical and mean comments about their mother, with whom they have reconciled.

May 27, 2012 at 2:47 pm
(95) Bahama girl says:

Sometimes it takes drastic measures to tame kids. I did that to my sons one time , they were arguing over who’s turn it was to sit by the window behind my seat.( I was driving) So , I gave them a warning , but like kids they never listen and I had the most hectic day in a while , so I pulled over and told them to get out……. I said it twice and boy the look of dread was on their faces. I got out of my car and put my 6 and 10 year old sons on the side of the road. I drive off and counted to 30 … Then I stopped my car about four houses away and walked back to get them. Needless to say they were crying like they were about to die. I picked both of the up and carried them to my car……….. I could tell you this , I never had a problem with them again and I could never forget the look on their faces…. Their 15 and 19 now and I still regret it. So parnets , no matter how much drama you might have learn from my moment of crazy and don’t ever do that. Because of where we were they were safe….

Still having nightmares of what could have happened.

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