Rihanna (20), who has been dating R&B singer Chris Brown (19), allegedly was assaulted by him early Sunday morning and sustained injuries including a split lip, bloody nose, and bite marks on her body. Brown, like Rihanna, had lucrative contracts with advertisers; up until the incident, he was featured on TV commercials for Wrigley's Double Mint gum.
Their age is as significant as their relationship. Good or bad, they're influencing a generation who are trying to negotiate the pitfalls of adolescent love.
My 15-year-old daughter Em says that the girls in her bio class were buzzing about the story because they think Brown is hot.
So what are these girls learning about relationships? When they see all this drama playing out in the lives of those they idolize, do they think that dating abuse is a normal part of male/female interaction?
At the Celebrity Cafe, Kimberly H. has written a heartfelt commentary about why victims like Rihanna frequently get blamed:
Rihanna is under attack by some who say the attack was her fault. The idea that a victim of abuse could be at fault because they 'provoked' the abuse is ridiculous, but still accepted by some. Put blame where blame is due: it is NOT acceptable to be abused in any form, no matter what, or who, started it.I hate to use the phrase 'teachable moment,' but if ever there was a situation that presented itself as an opportunity to start talking about dating abuse, this is it.Why has...abuse...become part of a "normal" relationship? It is sad that people and the media are not more supportive for the victim of abuse....[I]t is shocking to read that some fans are condoning and even applauding Brown for assaulting Rihanna. This is an appalling eye opener....No wonder rapes are not reported, girls say they "fell down the stairs" when they show up with a black eye; they can not be sure that anyone would support them and take their side, let alone believe them.
As Valentine's Day grows near, I urge all those in relationships to evaluate their situation. Has he/she ever hit you? Taken advantage of you physically or sexually when you did not want it? Verbally or emotionally attacked you, putting you down and belittling you? Threatened you or your loved one with violence? If you answered yes to any of the above...stand up for yourself and...walk away from the situation before it gets to the point where you have to be carried away on a gurney.
If you know someone who's in a relationship that feels wrong to you - a friend, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter - here's your chance to bring it out in the open by discussing Chris Brown and Rihanna, and going from there. The links below can help.
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Comments
As a male survivor of false allegations of domestic violence, we’ve heard the results of what happened, but not “what” happened. Innocent until proven guilty, anyone? What if she hit him while driving and he slammed on brakes and that caused her injuries. I’d like to hear both sides before I take the side most people take, “the woman’s.” Radical feminists believe every man is rapist, child molester, or dead-beat dad. Often times, women are looking for free money from the courts from men for child support spousal maintenance and divorce settlements instead of gettin’ a job and contributing. Women today physically fight men all day long – watch You-tube, Maury or Jerry Springer. Today’s woman wants to wear the pants and put on the gloves. I’m old school and got no love for Gangsta “B’s” and Thug Momma’s. We tell boys, “never hit girls,” but we don’t tell girls anything, or “he deserved it.” No one deserves assault or abuse, male or female. That’s why it’s crime.
just because a woman takes control of her own life and doesnt make herself a slave to her husband doesnt mean shes a ‘gangsta’ as the guy before me commented. it doesnt sound like ur old fashioned it sounds like u wouldnt think twice about hitting on a woman. ur whole comment talked down on women. categoring us all in one. and rihanna would lose more by telling the story she did. y would she make that up? im sorry to be vulgar but ur a douchebag, and those ‘false’ allegations probably werent so freakin false.
OPRAH is not God and from now on she will not matter thought she would apprach with caution and not be judgemntal, they all condemning and judgemental the media has done this before to name a few Nas , Diddy but they bounced back. I hope Chris bounces back, everyone will take ths opportunity to increase ratings.
As shocking as the Rihanna case is, it reminds us that domestic abuse knows no boundaries and could very well be happening to someone we know. If anything good can come from such a tragic situation it is that once again, domestic abuse will come to the forefront. I think the single most important thing we can do is to offer our support and understanding to victims of abuse. It’s very easy to think we know what we would do in their situation, but you really can’t know until you walk in their shoes.
We are all beaters, bitter, satanic, violent and big mouthed but…we are not the only ones. We cannot stand by anybody, help hurting or making fun of the rest of the world. Still we have the right to judge others with silly cruelty.
I spent 3 years as a professional advocate for a domestic violence program. It is my estimation that nearly HALF of the women who claimed to have been abused were lying. They used the program and the system to hurt the men who were unfortunate enough to be involved with these women, let alone have children with them. Like I said, half of the time, women were jealous of the new relationship he was in, wanted to hurt the guy by keeping children from him, and making sure he didn’t get to spend any money on the “new *&^%$” in his life. In other cases, the woman was mentally-ill with bi-polar and resisting treatment and then blaming her husband for every sick and twisted thing she did to her kid…there are 3 sides to EVERY
like i was saying … there are THREE SIDES to EVERY story…his, hers and then what really happened….
WOW- that is completely false information. I work with DV survivors too and the idea that half of them are lying is completely false. And by the way- we saw the pictures. We know exactly what happened- he beat her up.