Michelle Obama's Convention Speech and Her 'Softer' Image
As a mom, I think she'd understand why I missed hearing her speech live. I'm writing this from Hawaii where (like Michelle) I went on vacation with my own family. With the jet lag, the six hours' time difference, and the need to enjoy some R&R with my daughters, I didn't catch her on TV. Conveniently, Huffpo has the transcript.
Of course reading her words online is a different experience from seeing her address broadcast live. Nonetheless, I'm saddened by the contents of her speech.
I know that:
- Conventional wisdom suggests she had to soften the 'angry black woman' image some have pinned on her.
- The speech needed to promote her as a loving wife, mother, and supportive helpmate.
- Playing the sister/wife/mom/daughter card is like pulling out the "Get Out of Jail Free" card in Monopoly; it's regarded as the fast-track way to evoke that 'aw, shucks, she's just like me' reaction that women are supposed to have.
- By being softer and by putting herself as a mother first, it's believed that she'll be more endearing to the general public and thus more likable.
- Strong women are a threat to the status quo; only one person can wear the pants in the family, so the funny stories about Barack's idiosyncrasies are out and glowing admiration of her husband is in.
- She's not supposed to focus on policy or discuss race because that type of mental heavy lifting isn't appropriate for a potential First Lady trying to make a good impression on the biggest night of her political life.
Yet if there's one thing we all should have learned from this campaign cycle, it's this: Securing the so-called 'women's vote' is about as easy as herding cats. What conventional wisdom regards as the issues, qualities, or triggers that would make women respond predictably and consistently - and vote accordingly - really don't exist. We are different and unique with diverse interests that the 'wife/mother/daughter/sister' pitch often overlooks or intentionally ignores.
Although it will never happen, I'd love to see a candidate's wife stand up and say, "Don't vote for my husband because I'm fawning over him and singing his praises. Vote for him because I'm a strong and a smart woman who didn't hitch her wagon to an idiot who'll waste my time and yours by betraying our dreams and trust. He's going to accomplish real change because I've linked my life to his and had children with him and put aside my career for him. And I wasn't raised to give my life up for a fool."
When forming friendships with other women, I don't give a hoot about a softer image; I want a friend who's authentic and open with me, someone I can trust. I'm still waiting for the political consultant who recognizes that and advises the candidate or the candidate's wife on the merits of keeping it real.
Michelle Obama may have taken three weeks to prepare her address. But it seems as if it contained less of who she actually is and more of what various political consultants are reshaping her to be - an unfailingly positive but blandly pleasant helpmate. Bit by bit, we're slowly losing the strong, funny, feisty, forthright woman who once mirrored our struggle to balance work and family, a woman who considered her husband her quirky partner and not her infallible superior. I wish she had kept it more real and avoided the well-trodden 'candidate's wife' path. I had hoped she'd be trailblazing. But instead, she was merely cheerleading.
Comments
Dead-on sum-up.The graph about what a candidate’s wife ought to say would make a hell of a 30-second spot.
An interesting comment from a male colleague was that she “looked stunningly beautiful” and that her speech was “wonderful”…..
I have always had problems with us women not seeing the good of a woman in other women. Michelle’s speech was wonderful. For her to be able to say that if Obama can stand her that means he can stand as a President says it all about the other side of her as a woman. My problems with us women is that we do not see the good in other women. For a woman to complain about Michelle Obama’s speech as a daughter, sister, mother and a wife not withstanding her career achievements as a girl from the South of Chicago then I do not know what we women want from others. Please, let’s for ones appreciate our fellow women and push on for women recognition by bringing out the good of each other.
I too thought her speech was wonderful. Still the people will see what they want to see and listen and read what they want to. I still read comments about her saying “I am finally proud of my country” and of course it was taken out of context. There have been times in my life, I am 52, where I haven’t been too thrilled with my country, but at least I have the right to say so and so should Michelle Obama.
I admire, respect, and believe deeply in the personal integrity of Michelle Obama…and that’s the point I’m trying to make.
This speech was not Michelle’s speech because it was written by committee – composed by a group of professional speech writers and insiders who felt she had to make specific points to address criticisms against her and boost her husband’s image. Her own ‘voice’ was lost, wallpapered over by the work of many others.
If you’ve followed her speeches and public addresses, she’s passionate, forthright, compelling, and unfailingly honest. Read what she said to the National Congress of Black Women to get a sense of Michelle at her most authentic. Even in the short bit I’ve excerpted, you know exactly what she’s all about.
When Michelle is allowed to speak in her own words with her own passion, she can move mountains. She’s fiery, motivational, and real.
Please read my post carefully. I am not putting her down – I am expressing dismay at the content of her speech, which had less to do with who she is and more to do with what people think she should be. Those were words written for her by other people. What I want to know is, why can’t she speak with her own words?
She is a powerful, strong, smart woman. Why aren’t these qualities enough for her to be acceptable to the voting public?
3rd times the charm I guess, thanks Theodora
3rd times the charm I guess, thanks Theodora
It was a well written speech for the occassion
She is in the political arena and this changes everything for her, pretty much now and a long time Should and the operative word is, Should, Nobama get elected. She presented a softer sense of self, however, it just didn’t seem genuine and I understand that now.
It is about getting her man elected and that is what we women do, we stand by our man. That is not meant to be sarcastic, just factual.
I am very appalled at your characterization of Michelle. Those were the words she felt. She has said that she doesn’t like politics. As a woman of color, I noticed your bias for Hillary.
Perhaps you are sulking.
Mrs. Obama is a nonsense woman, it’s obvious in her demeanor. She is a professional woman who graduated cum laude. What your article does is continue the negative stereotype of her and other African-American women. As a matter of without she doesn’t need to state her love. It’s obvious. She is linked to husband because she wants to be; yet she can stand on her accomplishments.
You, yourself, as woman of color, I’m sure as any woman, not just a woman of color, has experienced a peak moment. Whatever your reason; you may have felt for the first time you were more prouder.
I think you should retract your article.