Blogger Mom Heather Armstrong & Dooce - Mommy Tells All
Suppose readers flocked to you because you were so real, so snarky, so funny and uncensored in telling it like it is?
That's what mom blogger Heather Armstrong does, and with an estimated 4 million page views a month, those in the know believe she pulls in up to $40,000 each month from advertisers willing to pay to be on her site Dooce.com.
A Day in the Life
Visit her and you'll see a video of her 4-year-old daughter singing, or read about her plane trip with her friend Carol in which she sat two rows away from former pop star Rick Springfield.
She's funny, she's irreverent, and she's highly readable.
Be Careful What You Write About
But I wouldn't want to be her friend, a family member, or anyone she writes about. Because her posts are frequently unflattering snapshots of moments that may be funny today, but won't wear well in the long run. There's a reason why memory becomes unreliable as we age - we're supposed to forget. Otherwise every dumb idea and ill-conceived action would dog us to the end of our days.
We may forget, but like the elephant the internet never forgets. Which means some version of Armstrong's posts will be floating around the web for years to come. And she may find herself - or her daughter - burned by a silly word or deed today that turns caustic later in life.
Baby Bare
Case in point: About 15 years ago, in my holiday cards I included a photo of my infant daughter lying on her tummy, pushing up on her arms, naked with her rosy bottom revealed. She was facing the camera with a puzzled expression on her face, brow furrowed as if to say, "Why are you doing this to me, Mom? You'll live to regret it."
A friend with older kids - teenagers, in fact - who received the card called me long-distance to say, "It's cute now, but how do you think she's going to feel about it when she's sixteen?"
Not So Funny Anymore
Fast forward to today. She's sixteen and she's seen the photo from the card. And she's horribly embarrassed, screeching at me like I put it up on MySpace or something. "What were you thinking?" she shrieks.I was thinking it was cute. I was thinking it was funny. Just like what Dooce mommy blogger Heather Armstrong might be thinking about her stuff.
We'll have to revisit Armstrong and Dooce in 12 years to see where her head is at then.
The Trouble With TMI
Don't get me wrong. I'm not going all holier-than-thou on you or Armstrong. I too have been there, done that, writing about a plane trip with my friend Trisha and my husband who does the family laundry. I personalize, but I don't expose. Over time I've learned that TMI (too much information) is too great a risk to take for a quick laugh. What's funny in one context is damaging in another...like, for example, a 16-year-old teenage girl's life.
But maybe I'm just being a wuss. Because if you look at Armstrong's photo on her "About" page, she looks exactly like a blonde Trinity from The Matrix. And her self-described bio suggests that she has the matching nerves of steel. In comparison, my photo makes me look like passive housekeeper Mrs. Livingston from that 70's show The Courtship of Eddie's Father. No guts, no glory here.
So probably Heather Armstrong doesn't need my cautionary advice. After all, what's a little teenage angst when you're pulling down nearly half a million a year?
Related article: Profile of Blogger Heather Armstrong & Dooce.com
Comments
this is a wonderful writeup and assessment of Dooce. I agree that she’s very readable, but like you, you have to wonder if she’s going to suffer from TMI-itis.
(I LOVED your description of your picture making you look like Mrs. Livingston! You definitely have guts, and keep writing fun pieces like this, you’ll have even more glory!!!
I think this assessment is irrelevant. The writer in question is obviously no idiot – she clearly understands the implication of a public vs private life, and has decided that this level of risk is appropriate for her and her family.
All this over-analysis of what “mommyblogging” is doing to the culture is silly. Individual choices, individual rights. The story should end there.
“Individual choices, individual rights.”
But what about the rights and choices (or lack thereof) of the people in question, especially the children, being exposed on these blogs? I think Linda has a good point.
I agree with Natasha. People that exploit their children are monsters in my opinion. Leta will most likely be emotionally damaged as a result. That is not an over exaggeration either.
I am a children’s social worker/intervention specialist and case studies such as Leta almost never grow up without suffering some anti social or emotionally disturbed consequence. The sins of the parent cannot be overlooked in this case of deliberate and intentional exploitation.
There’s a fine line, sometimes, between sharing YOUR story that involves your children, and sharing your version of your children’s story. The first can be done, with art and craft. The second? Not really anyone’s story to tell but those children.
All of what is said about dooce exploiting her child may very well be true; I won’t argue that. What about child actors? What about Angelina Jolie’s children? What about child prodigies? What about Princes William and Harry? What about writers?
This is not a defense. I would also like to mention that I have a background in education and child psychology, and I wouldn’t be too certain that Leta will grow up with any more than the average American’s potential for suffering any mental or emotional disorder.
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