Silda's Choice: Why Judging Silda Wall Spitzer is Wrong
 Silda Wall Spitzer in happier times© Evan Agostini/Getty Images |
Journalism...or Gossip?
In my own hometown, local TV stations rushed to get viewer reactions. One reporter brought her laptop into a hair salon to show the owner, stylists, and clients a clip of Spitzer's resignation speech (since there wasn't a TV in the shop). Women old and young wrinkled their faces and denounced Silda, saying, "How could she stay with him?" and "She doesn't set a good example for other women by standing beside him. She should tell him it's his mess to handle himself."One twentysomething woman visiting the salon to get her blonde hair highlighted shook her foil-wrapped head in disgust. "I didn't pay attention to what Eliot Spitzer said. I could care less," she commented. "It was his wife I watched while he was talking," .
Judging Silda
Even the national media have locked onto this angle of the story. Which is surprising, as it's more like celebrity tabloid gossip than thoughtful reportage. .How disheartening to see women passing judgment on another woman's actions and decisions. What happens in a relationship is known only to the two involved - the wife, the husband. If you're not in that relationship, then you don't have the full picture and can't accurately judge the situation.
I empathize with Silda Wall Spitzer. But unlike the young blonde customer in the salon, I didn't look at Silda. Why? Because the woman deserves her privacy, and she is blameless. We shouldn’t be judging her. We should give her the space she needs to get past this.
Pain as a Private Matter
In the film Sophie's Choice, we see the anguish of the title character played by Meryl Streep, and learn of the circumstances that forced her to make an almost unthinkable choice. We see how the choice unravels her life.Most of these kinds of choices are made in private, with only our individual consciences to bear witness and make the final judgment. No one would ever choose to have their grief, pain, and anguish paraded through every possible media outlet, then analyzed and criticized.
No one should have this happen.
But we do it every day, don't we? In this case, it's time to stop.
It's time to leave Silda alone. If you were her, wouldn't you want the same courtesy?
Comments
Linda,
You are absolutely right, and thanks for bringing it up. It is just another case of the man doing something really wrong, and what do women do? Instead of taking out their anger at dishonest men, prostitution and the sexual attitudes of our culture in general, they vent their anger at another woman.
Is this 2008 or 1958?
Kimberly
Maybe now she can run for president
I wonder what it feels like to be a Governess??? Many perks? I don’t live in La La Land…so I wouldn’t know how it feels. But one this is for sure…I may think twice about how much I really care about—dear old hubby cheating— if I could live each day in her kind of luxury. I’m sure she knew about his cheating ways long before this story came out and honestly could care less what the average wife feels or thinks.
You know why women are so pissed with this woman because of all the strides women have made too many feel that suffering is some kind of honor. These political wives regardless of their education haven’t advanced at all. They stand by these men who would have left them for LESS! He humiliated her, disrespected their family and blew money on what he more than likely could have gotten at home for FREE.
See I don’t blame her for his cheating, I blame her for staying. And like Hillary and all the others by doing so their men now know there won’t be any repercussions at home and though wifey may have an attitude (if even) for a day or two she’s not going any where and therefore why respect her. I speak for all the women that aren’t buying into the “Stand by your man” B.S: Men respect action by not taking any she just co-signed on his behaviour plain and simple.