Keeping Your Maiden Name After Marriage
This was a much bigger issue a generation ago. Today, only 10% of all women who marry will keep their own names. And the likelihood that a woman will change over to her husband's name increases when children come into the picture.
I proudly kept my name for many years. The name you see here is my maiden name but not my legal name. Yep, I changed it when I had kids, but it took the birth of the second one to finalize the decision.
It was partly due to family pressure, especially my mother-in-law's tearful plea that visitors would think the baby was born out of wedlock since my maiden name graced her bassinet in the hospital nursery.
But mostly it was to separate my private married-name life from my public maiden-name persona. I think, in many ways, I had to grow into my husband's name, just like I had to grow into the idea of being a wife and then a mother.
Having played the name game for a number of years, I can say with certainty that there's no right decision. And even if you make one that you're convinced is wrong, just remember: Like your mind, you can always change your name.
Comments
On the third hand, a woman’s “maiden” name is actually her father’s name, anyway. I am in favor of just creating a name you like, that has some meaning for you personally. If it happens to be your husband’s or father’s name, great. Just be aware that everytime you sign your name, that will remind you of this identity, whatever you choose.
When I got married I took my husband’s name. It was unheard of for a woman not to do this at that time, but things have changed.
Why should the woman take his name? Perhaps for the sake of the children etc he could take hers? I doubt if there is a man alive who would agree to that so why do people expect it of a woman.
When I divorced I reverted to my maiden name and I vowed I would never change it again.
Perhaps they should use both names. What is wrong with Smith-Jones? Why is this even an issue? Many people refer to their spouse as their partner and as far as I am aware when you enter into a partnership it is not require for you to take your partner’s name and marriage is a pertnership after all.
I ‘m for keeping my maiden name with a hyphen then my married name at the end.
that way everyone is Happy!
If your maiden name is B and you keep your maiden name, do you go from a MS. B to a Mrs. B. or do you only become a Mrs. if you take his name?
In response to the 4th comment, you would be know as Ms. B. and you would only be Mrs. so and so…if you took your hubby’s last name. Look it up.
As far as the case of a woman changing her last name…it is a western notion…goes back to the medievel ages when you were considered property of your husband. In my culture, women retain their maiden names after marriage (nowadays…that is changing though because of western influence) because the family lineage follows the father. Out of love and respect for my father who raised me, i did not change my name after marriage. My daughter has her dad’s (my husband’s) last name….that is the way it should be…at least that’s what i think. If it promotes a few more questions from people…so, be it…i will not change my identity to convenience a few.